


The Trouble With Acorns

by duo_simulacra



Category: Alice Nine
Genre: Animal Transformation, Anthropomorphic, Bodyswap, Crack, Multi, Mysterious teleportation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-16
Updated: 2017-04-16
Packaged: 2018-10-19 17:36:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 29,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10644768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/duo_simulacra/pseuds/duo_simulacra
Summary: Nao is at a loss as to what's gotten into his bandmates, one afternoon in July—it should be a routine practice session, but something's fishy... and everyone is about to have a wild adventure whether they like it or not.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story was originally posted on Livejournal under "duo_simulacra" at "furry_couch".
> 
> Certified 100% crackfic. Everything about this is completely nuts (...nuts, get it?), as was some of the very random research I ended up doing in order to write this.

It was only a little past noon, and yet all of them were clearly starting to succumb to exhaustion. Nao stifled a yawn as he tried to finish his lunch; so far, practicing the new songs had proven a bit difficult, mostly because Hiroto kept asking them to restart every time he made a mistake in his playing. It was one particular solo that was giving him trouble, and it had been since the very start, yet he refused to tweak it to make it easier—even just until he managed to master it. In fact, he was dead-set against it, and Nao figured it was probably out of the frustrating embarrassment of continually messing up. The curious thing was, he'd been able to play it without any trouble just weeks before during recording; it was only now that they were practicing for the tour that Hiroto had run into such trouble. They weren't just small mistakes that could easily be interpreted by an audience member as some sort of freestyling, either—they were extremely noticeable and, in Nao's opinion, ones that only someone with considerably less skill than Hiroto would have made.

It was baffling.

Nao dabbed at his mouth with a napkin, still feeling quite hungry. He wondered if anyone would notice him grabbing more to eat out of the fridge; they were all too busy minding their own business, really, so he supposed pilfering something extra would be safe enough. He got up as quietly as possible, not wanting to draw attention to himself, and began to creep across the room.

He yawned loudly, all of a sudden.

The others looked up at him, taken aback, and Nao belatedly put his hand over his mouth, shocked that he hadn't really felt it coming on. He grumbled a vague apology for disturbing them all, hoping they'd go back to paying him no mind, and it was only then that he noticed Tora leaning against the back wall, fast asleep. It was a wonder no one else seemed to have noticed. After all, he'd seen Tora fall asleep in strange places before, but standing against a wall... that was new. Nao, with a raised eyebrow, focused once more on getting himself something else to eat.

\- - - - - - - - - - -

"I really have to cut my nails..." He heard Shou mutter as he neared him on the way to the drums. As he passed, and glanced at the vocalist's nails out of curiosity, he almost stumbled in surprise: they seemed to be nearly a centimetre long.

Nao took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment as he continued past his bandmate and over to his drum set: he hadn't been looking properly, that was all. He opened his eyes and circled his instrument, trying to convince himself that the rest of the afternoon would be productive and not at all out of the ordinary.

Off to his right, Tora was already waiting to start and Saga was picking up his bass. His outfit was a bit more colourful than usual, but—no, wait. Was Saga playing with his hair and attempting to catch Shou's eye through the mirror? Nao raised his eyebrow as he watched Saga fiddle with and tease his (decidedly volumized) locks; it was even more exasperating when Shou feigned obliviousness in trying not to grin at the attention. Nao glanced over at Hiroto, who was wearing a dry expression similar to his own.

"Goddamnit!" Tora exclaimed, distracting the others from Saga's very _un_ -subtle attempt at seduction. "I can't find my pick!"

"What pick?" Nao snorted without pause, "You have tons—they can't have _all_ gone missing..."

"I put it right here, on top of my amp," Tora continued in frustration, apparently ignoring Nao. "It was _right_ here before I left to eat lunch! What the fuck!"

"You sure it didn't get blown off onto the floor or something?" Nao asked, trying to sound helpful instead of exasperated. Really, what was _with_ everyone today?

"Of course I'm sure!" Tora snapped, "I just checked!"

"Just get another one," Shou offered nonchalantly, still trying not to grin at Saga who had once again started preening himself in the mirror.

Tora huffed irritably and turned to make his way to the storage cupboard where they kept extras, odds and ends.

"Wait a second," Hiroto mumbled hesitantly, "I found it..."

"Where?" Tora asked, a hard edge to his voice as he looked over at the other guitarist with a raised eyebrow.

"In... my basket," Hiroto replied with a clear wince.

"And what was _my_ pick doing in _your_ basket?" Tora asked in a mock-pleasantry.

"I... put it there," Hiroto said, wincing harder.

Tora's nostrils flared.

"Sorry," Hiroto apologized awkwardly, "I saw it, and... I dunno, I just took it and put it in my basket without thinking—I mean, I didn't even remember until right now, I—"

"Just give him the pick," Nao cut him off with a sigh, realizing that the day was already doomed to be hopeless. They'd gotten barely any useful practice in, the two guitarists were already at odds, Shou and Saga were too busy making faces at eachother to _want_ to practice, and Nao... well, he was still hungry.

\- - - - - - - - - - -

In the course of half an hour, Nao had lost his temper twice, Tora had asked Hiroto if he "wanted to go", Saga had done more of that ridiculous primping of his in the mirror and Shou had remained decidedly cool-headed, not seeming to pay much attention to all the commotion caused by everyone else. Nao had begun fervently hoping he was simply caught in a frustrating dream.

"Just let _me_ play it," Tora groaned, completely fed up. "For fuck's sake, man, just let me play it!"

"No!" Hiroto exclaimed defensively, "I can get it right, I swear I can—just one more—"

"We need to move on to another song," Nao said flatly, interrupting him. "Either you let him play it, or you take out the damn solo. Either way, I don't care, just please—let's move _on_ , or I'm going to lose it. Got it?"

Nao's expression of carefully constructed sympathy faded when he saw the look on Hiroto's face.

"I have to try at least one more time," Hiroto insisted, looking every bit as stubborn as Nao was frustrated.

Nao took a deep breath, trying to stave off the urge to scream. When he was sure he wouldn't bite Hiroto's head off, he spoke, though his voice was quiet. "One more time. _One_." Tora huffed in annoyed disbelief, but Nao paid him no mind; instead, he cast an exasperated look over at Saga who hadn't been paying attention at all. "Hey, loverboy." No reaction. " _Saga_!"

"What?" Saga asked calmly, unperturbed.

Once more, Nao had to force himself to take a deep breath. "We're playing it one more time, from the top," He told the bassist, reminding himself that snapping wouldn't do any good. "Get your head out of the clouds and play."

"Alright, alright..." Saga chuckled, grinning slightly as he waved Nao off. "No need to get all up in arms about it."

Nao looked over at Tora and they both shook their heads at the situation. Still, it seemed as though they were finally making some headway: they had agreed they'd play the song only once more, regardless of whether or not Hiroto screwed up his solo, and everyone appeared to be paying attention. Nao wasn't sure whether to laugh tiredly or groan when he saw Saga wink at Shou through the mirror. He supposed, though, that as long as it didn't impair his playing, Saga could flirt all he wanted. When he got a nod from Shou, he tapped his drumsticks together a couple times and then started playing.

\- - - - - - - - - - -

" _No_ , we agreed we'd do it only one more time!" Nao exclaimed, nearly angry at Hiroto for begging for another do-over; he was about ready to tell everyone to just go home.

"Look, I swear, if you just give me _one_ more try—"

"You _can't_ play it," Tora snapped, "Now just get the fuck over it and try at home when you're not wasting our practice time!"

"I _can_!" Hiroto shot back angrily, "I'll prove it!"

And as he said the words, he turned up the sound on his amp and started playing the solo again. Nao resisted the desire to get onto his knees and bang his forehead against one of the snare drums. It would be a lot less painful than watching Hiroto embarrass himself again.

"You'll _prove_ it..." Tora snorted in disbelief, rolling his eyes. " _Right_..."

Considering the circumstance, the fact that Hiroto was now actually playing it error-free was so ridiculous that Nao almost wanted to laugh. Hiroto had turned the amp's volume up enough to make the very air feel like it was vibrating, and they all sat or stood in complete silence, gaping at Hiroto who was, for some inexplicable reason, now playing flawlessly.

"Ha!" Hiroto shouted through the noise, "I _told_ you!"

It truly was a bitch of a solo.

As Hiroto neared the last notes, playing them all rapidly and without hesitation, Nao felt the vibration from the noise intensify and wondered if the guitar solo would rip the room apart. The vagrant thought almost made him laugh.

"I _told_ you," Hiroto insisted again with incredible smugness as he finished playing and flicked his pick onto the floor.

They all stood in stunned silence.

"Well, don't you have something to say?" Hiroto asked Tora, still looking horribly smug.

Tora opened his mouth to answer after a moment, but closed it when they all felt a fairly strong rumble under their feet; Nao looked around rather warily, wondering if it was the precursor to an earthquake.

"You should probably move away from the amps and the mirrors," He told them all soberly.

As if on cue, there was another rumble, at least as strong as the last, but this time, it didn't stop after a couple of seconds, and Nao's eyes widened as he heard a loud cracking sound and realized it was one of the mirrors. He was glad, at least, that they were all closer to the back wall as another loud crack ripped through the room but before he could say so, there was a blinding flash of light, and then everything went dark.


	2. Chapter 2

Nao awoke with a bit of a headache, sprawled out on his back against what felt like the floor. It was pitch black. He blinked groggily and tried to sit up, but found it too much of an effort and so he settled instead on bringing one of his hands to his face to rub at it.

" _Ow_!" He exclaimed almost immediately upon poking himself in the eye. He didn't remember his nails being so long, but then again, he also had no idea how much time he had been out for.

He closed his eyes and lifted his hand to his face again, though more carefully this time, and scratched at his chin. His eyes shot open in surprise: he had facial hair. He felt an anxious frown tug at his lips; it would have been nothing to worry about if it had've been just a _little_ bit, but the amount he felt...

He tried again to sit up and with difficultly managed to, although he felt dizzy. A moment of sitting and trying to breathe calmly made him feel a bit more stable, but he found that standing up was too hard: he settled on crawling on all fours instead. It was awfully quiet.

"Guys?" He called out; all he got back was an echo. His eyes had begun to adjust to the darkness, however, and he could finally make out the outlines of the place he had woken up in.

Unfortunately, it looked nothing like the studio.

"Guys?" He called out again, feeling quite a lot more anxious than before. "Is anyone there?"

He seemed to be in a cave, but for the life of him, could not figure out how he might have gotten there. He also couldn't figure out why the others were nowhere nearby.

"I'll just... go outside," He muttered to himself, "and I'll look for help. Yes. Yes—that's right: there's nothing wrong. This is probably just a dream. Nothing to worry about."

And so he looked around the cave (or whatever it was) for an opening, and when he spied one over his left shoulder, he headed for it slowly so that he didn't wind up dizzy or exhausted; after all, he was starving. After what felt like a good minute of lumbering down the cave's passageway, Nao saw daylight; he was so excited, his tail began to wag.

"Finally, some li—aaaaaaaaaaarghhhhhh!" He yelled, the realization that he had a tail finally hitting him. He whipped around, desperately trying to clutch at his bottom to reassure himself that he was just imagining things. "This _isn't_ happening!" He cried out to no one in particular, "I do _not_ have a tail!"

But for all his yelling, it was no use. He did indeed have a tail, and the "facial hair" he'd felt earlier was all over his backside. He was starting to think it probably wasn't just wildly overgrown five o'clock shadow.

"Guys?!" He called out again, more desperately than before; he pelted down the cave tunnel at a dead run and finally burst into the sunlight where he sped past more trees until he found himself in a clearing. It took a moment for his eyes to adjust to the glare.

He was near a river.

He dashed over to it, dreading the idea of looking his reflection but also unable to help his curiosity; what he saw nearly made him faint. He was a goddamn bear. A bear. A big, brown, hairy _bear_.

"What the _fuck_ is going on?" He roared, alarmed and angered all at once; he swiped his paw (his _paw_!) at the water to try and change his reflection, but when the water stilled, it was the same. He was most certainly not human. "Guys?" He called out again, looking at the surrounding woods, " _Anyone_?"

"Nao?"

He nearly fainted with relief when he heard Tora's voice from nearby. And then he remembered he was a bear.

"Tora! Thank _God_!" He bounded in the direction he figured the guitarist's voice had come from and tried to think of how to break the news to his bandmate. "Okay, don't panic when you see me, but—"

He stopped short.

For a moment, he simply stared, and then he started to snicker. The snickering turned into muffled laughter and then he was wracked with guffaws and fell to the ground where he _shook_ with mirth.

"It's not fucking funny," He heard Tora grumble, sounding almost hurt.

"Y—yes—" Nao gasped, laughing, "Yes it _is_!"

Tora attempted to lower himself to the ground, but he appeared to be unused to standing and his legs buckled under him, propelling him ungracefully to the grass, snout-first.

"This is too rich!" Nao continued to cackle and heave, unable to stop laughing even though Tora appeared to be scowling at him.

"It's embarrassing enough as it is without you laughing at me, you asshole," Tora grumbled again, his scowl becoming even more pronounced.

"I just can't—" Nao dissolved into another fit of laughter and Tora snorted loudly in disapproval. "At least you have the stripes!"

"I know, but a fucking _zebra_?" Tora asked in affront, "A _zebra_? What kind of fucking joke _is_ this?"

"A good one," Nao cried with mirth, trying to wipe at his eyes without getting his claws in them again, "A really good one."

"Any luck finding the others?" Tora sighed, perhaps realizing that changing the subject would be the best course of action.

"No," Nao coughed slightly, trying to stop laughing; it was a pretty serious topic, after all. "I woke up in a cave not too far from here, but I was alone and I haven't heard any of the others—come to think of it, how come we can understand eachother?"

"Damned if I know," Tora snorted. "I mean, the fact that we've been turned into animals is fucked up enough, but the fact that we can still understand one another is..."

"Complete nonsense," Nao said wryly.

"Yes, that," Tora replied, sounding unimpressed.

Nao felt a pang of hunger and made to get up, his large frame casting a shadow over Tora, who appeared to be preparing himself to stand. Nao tried not to laugh again as he watched Tora carefully try to prop himself up on his spindly legs without falling and turned, trusting his bandmate to follow him.

He wasn't going to do any more searching until he caught himself a nice fish for lunch. After all, Tora was beginning to look _quite_ appetizing.

\- - - - - - - - - - -

"It's been an hour," Tora told him matter-of-factly, "Maybe we should start considering the idea that we might be the only ones stuck like this."

"Don't be ridiculous," Nao huffed, not wanting to outwardly accept the fact that Tora could be right. "We probably just all got separated, or they haven't woken up yet. The others'll turn up soon—I'm sure of it."

While Nao hadn't felt much difficulty in adjusting to his new body, Tora had experienced something else entirely. For instance, Nao had instinctively felt that catching himself a fish (or a few) would be the most logical thing to do to satisfy his hunger, but Tora had struggled between wanting the fish Nao had offered him and being disgusted by it. If the whole back-and-forth in taste hadn't appeared so disturbing to his companion, Nao probably would have laughed some more, but when Tora had finally settled on eating some greens he claimed were rather tasty, Nao had decided to keep the witty remarks to a minimum.

When they'd both had their fill and were ready to pick back up the search for their missing bandmates, they'd had to go slow to allow Tora to watch his own legs carefully so as to not tangle them and stumble; the further they walked from the river, the denser the forest became. Luckily, they hadn't had to suffer the slow pace for long, because Tora's steps quickly became more confident and after a short while, he was able to walk easily without looking down at his hooves. No matter how graceful his movements became, though, Nao just couldn't help his amusement at the irony that Tora had not become a tiger. It was just too good.

He wondered if he'd completely lost his marbles.

It was kind of nice to get away from practice for a while, though, he had to admit, even if the entire scenario was simply a hallucination. The fish had tasted good enough.

"Do you hear that?" Tora asked him.

"Hear what?" Nao asked after a moment, ears twitching; he heard running water and a few bird chirps, but no—ah. In straining his ears he could hear the far-off sound of Shou laughing hysterically.

"He must be with someone else, to be laughing that hard," Tora remarked, amused.

"He could have gone insane," Nao suggested blandly.

"Very true," Tora conceded, the amusement not leaving his voice. "I wonder what animal he's turned into, though."

"He could still be human," Nao said matter-of-factly. "We should probably stay out of sight to take a look in case we scare him half to death."

"I highly doubt he'd be scared of me," Tora said flatly, clear disapproval in his voice.

Nao suppressed a snicker. "You're not exactly intimidating, are you?"

Tora grunted and flicked his tail, starting to trot through the trees as if to tell Nao that his remarks weren't worth entertaining a moment longer. Full, Nao was easily able to keep pace, and since they were getting closer, he chose to keep his mouth shut; he was quite certain that, if Tora chose to kick him out of anger, it would do more than just leave a mark.

"I can't even—" The voice definitely belonged to Saga. "It's so _heavy_!"

"Saga, _honey_ , if you complain one more time, I'm going to have to have you for lunch."

"You _wouldn't_!" Saga exclaimed, horrified.

"Dont' be so sure," Shou laughed in what Nao clearly recognized as a teasing tone, "I'm starving, after all."

"I guess I was right about him not being alone," Tora muttered, sounding amused.

"Think we should intrude?" Nao asked in a similar tone.

"Let's eavesdrop a little longer," Tora suggested mischievously, quietly lowering himself to the ground; Nao followed suit without a word. They weren't close enough to see Shou and Saga, but they _were_ close enough to hear their bickering loud and clear.

"...should have thought of that before you started dressing like one," they heard Shou gasp with laughter, sounding unsympathetic about whatever it was he was discussing with Saga.

There was a fluttering sound somewhere nearby, where the voices were coming from.

"I do _not_ dress like one!" Saga cried out in protest.

"Baby, you're the biggest peacock I've ever met," Shou cackled, "Don't be ridiculous!"

Nao and Tora looked at eachother, trying very hard not to burst out laughing at the image of Saga as a peacock: it was just too much.

"I want to be _human_ again!" Saga exclaimed in frustration.

"So do I," Shou said, finally sounding sympathetic; a strange rumbly sound started up in their general direction.

"That's purring," Tora remarked immediately in a whisper, sounding surprised.

"I thought it was the warning sign of another earthquake," Nao muttered, relieved.

"He must be some kind of cat," Tora continued, sounding, to Nao, as though he were a bit jealous.

"I mean," They heard Saga start up again, sounding more worried than anything else, "How are we supposed to be together when we're like this? We're not the same species, we're not even both mammals, I'm technically your prey—"

They heard Shou chuckle mischievously.

"And there is no way— _no way_ —we'd be able to have sex anymore because of our different anatomy," Saga continued, sounding frustrated, "and even _if_ we attempted it, I'd feel like I was engaging in bestiality, the thought of which—let me tell you—I have never found even _remotely_ intriguing or arousing."

"Baby, don't worry so much," Shou said airily, sounding amused and still purring loudly. "Either this is a fucked up dream, or one of us is really, really high, so things will go back to normal soon, I'm sure."

"But what if they don't?" Saga asked, unimpressed.

"Well then we'll turn heads wherever we go, now won't we?" Shou asked, teasing. "We'll be the most interesting animal duo ever."

"And my parents thought _they_ had relationship troubles..." Saga scoffed.

Shou laughed. "We'll be fine as long as I can catch something to eat, because the more we talk, the more delicious you look, and I don't know how much longer I can control myself."

"I really wish you were seeing me as more than just food right now," Saga said dryly.

"Well, unfortunately that's not the case," Shou chuckled. "Now come on—it shouldn't take me too long to catch something. I'm thinking I'd be able to find a squirrel pretty easily since this is a forest..."

Nao really wished they'd have revealed themselves before having to suffer through hearing such a personal conversation, but he figured there wasn't much help for it anymore. The two were still talking, but their voices were fading, and it was safe to assume that they were heading further into the forest. It was time to catch up with them.

"We'd better say it's us before we pop out of the trees," Tora said matter-of-factly. "After all, you're a goddamn bear; they'd probably shit themselves if they didn't know it was us beforehand."

Nao chuckled. "Too right."

"...going to have to fan out your tail at _some_ point," They heard Shou say playfully. "I really want to see it; after all, its purpose is to attract mates."

"Yes, other _peacocks_ ," Saga specified in annoyance, "Not a cat that's going to pounce on me and tell me how tasty I look."

"In my defence," Shou replied primly, "You also look tasty as a human."

Finally, Saga laughed, but before he could reply, Nao spoke up. "Guys?"

"Holy shit!" Saga exclaimed, sounding startled, "Is that you, Nao-kun?"

"Yes—Tora-shi's here with me, too," Nao replied quickly, "But anyway, I have to warn you before we reveal ourselves that it might be a little shocking—don't panic."

" _Okay_..." Saga trailed off hesitantly.

Nao savoured their wide-eyed reactions when he and Tora stepped out from behind the trees, and also tried not to laugh when he saw Saga. It truly was a hilarious sight (though not as hilarious as seeing Tora as a zebra had been). As if on cue, Shou, a small wildcat, covered his muzzle with his paw and began snickering; Saga looked away, but appeared to be shaking slightly, probably with repressed laughter. Nao had no doubt it was because of Tora.

"Yes, yes," Tora sighed, rolling his eyes, "I'm a zebra. Ha, ha. Hilarious."

"You've got to admit," Shou snickered, "It's _pretty_ funny that you didn't turn into a tiger."

"Oh, but the stripes must count for something," Nao quipped, highly amused and feeling like he might dissolve into laughter again if he didn't watch it.

"Definitely," Shou agreed, snickering even more.

"Are we done?" Tora asked dryly, though he didn't seem very offended.

Nao patted Tora's shoulder with one of his large paws in amused sympathy, careful not to scratch him. "I guess Hiroto-kun's the only one missing, then."

"Bitches, I've been following you the _whole_ time," An unmistakeable (and smug) voice said from somewhere up in the trees.

"Speak of the devil..." Tora muttered, sounding miffed.

"Why didn't you say anything earlier?" Nao asked, a bit annoyed, himself.

"Oh, no, no, I wasn't following _you_ , I was following Shou-kun and Saga-kun. But Shou-kun kept going on about how hungry he was, and then he said he wanted to catch something to eat—"

"You're a squirrel, aren't you?" Shou cut in with a bark of laughter.

Hiroto said nothing back and after a moment, Nao wondered if Shou had offended him; it was improbable considering they were such good friends and Hiroto was more or less immune to teasing but then again, they had been thrust into an incredibly strange and unusual circumstance. Nao figured he should prepare himself for some equally strange behaviour.

"Maybe you should try apologizing," Saga offered sceptically.

"What should I apologize for?" Shou asked, bemused.

"Damned if I know," Saga muttered, clawing absently at the ground with his bird-feet.

"Okay, well... I don't know about you guys, but I'm hungry," Nao cut in matter-of-factly as he began lumbering over to a bush just off to Tora's right. It was full of tasty-looking berries and he intended to have a snack if there was going to be any more discussion about the situation they'd been put into.

"And what about me?" Shou asked, indignant, "I'm starving!"

"Go climb up a tree and get yourself a bird," Nao suggested airily, plopping down before the berry bush.

"You _know_ I'm afraid of heights," Shou replied in annoyance.

"Oh right..." Nao chuckled. "Well then, go a little further into the woods and hunt for something. We should be able to stay right here until you get back—as long as you don't take too long."

"Alright then," Shou said, looking pleased, "Be back in a bit."

Tail lashing (perhaps in anticipation), he turned and started to trot further into the forest.

"Wait!" Saga suddenly exclaimed, waddling after him.

Shou stopped and looked back at him in amusement. "What is it?"

"We are _not_ getting separated again," Saga insisted, seeming like he was making quite the effort to catch up.

"First of all, I'm not going to be long, and you're going to be with the guys here, so it's not like I'm leaving you all alone," Shou told him in what he perhaps considered a soothing tone. "Second, I hate to break it to you, but you're slow because of that tail of yours, and you'd just make getting back here take even longer. So you should just stay here."

Saga made some sort of weird squawking sound (out of vexation, perhaps?) and then turned without a word, making his way back to the short radius the rest of them were occupying. Nao was privy to the look of exasperation that crossed Shou's catty face before he too turned and bounded further into the forest in search of a meal. It was enough that they had all been turned into animals (at least, he assumed Hiroto had been struck with the same fate) but to have everyone grumpy as well? It was dragging Nao into a foul mood, and fast.

"Okay," Nao began, addressing Tora and Saga, "while we're waiting for Shou-kun to come back, I think—"

"Hey, guys."

They all turned in the direction of Hiroto's voice and stared at the empty space in confusion.

"Down here," He specified, sounding amused.

Sure enough, when Nao bothered looking closer to the ground, he spied a squirrel waving its tiny paw at them.

"Well I'll be damned..." Tora snorted, as though to cover up a laugh.

"I wanted to wait until Shou-kun had run off to find food before coming out," Hiroto explained, scurrying closer to them while his fluffy tail twitched behind him. "He seemed hungry enough that he probably would have immediately tried to pounce on me if I came into the open."

"He probably would have," Nao said wryly, remembering just how hungry he had been earlier. He plucked a few more berries delicately from the bush he was sitting beside and tossed them down his gullet. He coughed loudly, startling the others. "Went down the wrong way," He rasped, motioning to his throat in explanation, coughing again. He saw Tora attempt to cover up a snigger, but that was a difficult operation when one had hooves.

"So... anyone have any idea how we ended up like this?" Saga asked, extending one of his wings and studying it curiously.

"I've been telling myself someone slipped acid into our food and that I'm just on a _really_ fucked up trip right now," Tora said matter-of-factly. "But honestly, I have no idea."

"I blame the earthquake," Nao said flatly. "We're probably all knocked out right now, and this is my own personal hallucination."

"That's what me and Shou think, too... mostly," Saga said, looking over at Nao. "I'm with you, but Shou is convinced that we died in the quake and have been reincarnated, or that we somehow got sucked into an alternate universe." Saga paused, seeming disapproving. "He's been watching a lot of weird documentaries lately."

"No kidding," Nao snorted with amusement, tossing a few more berries into his open mouth.

"Well _I_ think all this was because of my solo," Hiroto chipped in smugly.

They all turned to look at him, none of them speaking. Then, as if on cue, they all started snickering, and in Nao's case, the snickering soon had him rolling on his back in the grass, laughing so hard his eyes were watering.

"Laugh if you want," Hiroto told them, unperturbed, "But that mirror shattered while it was still on the wall, and not by falling off of it, and that earthquake—or whatever it was—only happened _after_ I'd finished playing—"

"And?" Nao gasped out, laughing, "You don't believe in coincidence?"

"I'm just saying," Hiroto protested airily, throwing up his tiny squirrel-paws, "That was a loud, kickass solo, and I don't think it's all that crazy to believe that it opened up a wormhole and sucked us into an alternate universe."

"Yes. Yes it _is_ crazy!" Saga exclaimed, squawking wildly with laughter at the very idea.

"We'll see..." Hiroto trailed off with cool amusement despite the fact that there were three animals laughing uncontrollably in front of him.

It was a good minute before Nao could calm down, and he highly suspected that he had been laughing more out of anxiousness at the situation than amusement at it. After all, they still had no real answer for why they'd ended up as animals, and thus, no idea whatsoever on how to reverse their predicament.

"So basically we're fucked," Tora said bluntly, after they'd all been silent for a bit.

"Basically," Nao agreed, wishing he could think of something to say that would sound encouraging to the others.

"Do you hear that?" Tora asked suddenly for the second time that afternoon, ears twitching.

"Hear what?" Nao asked in confusion, looking around.

"That's definitely Shou," Saga said, turning to glance off into the trees behind him. "I can see his tail above the foliage—He's humming."

"Must have caught something, then," Tora replied, sounding vaguely interested; he snorted and swished his tail.

"Oh, _now_ I can hear him," Nao remarked once Shou was within sight of the rest of them.

"Agha!" Shou exclaimed, seeming very pleased with himself. "Ragh ack uh rirl!" The dead critter in his mouth made it hard for Nao to understand what he'd intended to convey.

"That was quick," Saga commented as Shou drew near him.

Shou spat the dead animal out at Saga's feet and gave him a wide, cattish grin, showing all his teeth. "Impressive, right?"

"You killed a _squirrel_?" Hiroto cut in, sounding completely disgusted.

"Oh, there you are," Shou chuckled. "I knew you'd be a squirrel, I just knew it!"

"And yet you're going to eat one for lunch," Hiroto said, looking offended.

"Well it's not _you_ ," Shou replied airily. "I made sure to ask it before I snapped its neck."

Hiroto shuddered in horror.

"Do you want any, Saga?" Shou asked pleasantly, settling onto the forest floor in front of the dead vermin.

"No, I'm still full from those berries I ate earlier," Saga replied, settling down opposite Shou anyway, to watch him tear into his food. "It smells good, though."

"I could definitely get used to this," Shou said appreciatively, gnawing on one of the dead squirrel's legs.

"Okay, I'm about to throw up, here, so I'll be back after he's done eating that... that... thing," Hiroto settled on saying in thorough disgust. He turned tail and ran back into the forest without another word.

"Well, I'm at a loss as to what to do," Nao muttered in what he thought was an inaudible tone as he shoved a few more berries into his mouth (he had lost track of how many he'd eaten).

He was thus surprised when Tora came over to him to lie down in the grass nearby.

"I _still_ think I'm on an acid trip," Tora told him quietly, "But acid trip or not, I think it's best we at least _try_ to think of a way out of this. Or keep moving, anyway."

"I agree," Nao replied, flopping onto his back.

"First thing's first, we should find a place to sleep for tonight, because the sun will probably start to go down soon," Tora said, tail swishing in Nao's field of vision.

"We should go back to the cave I woke up in," Nao suggested thoughtfully. "It would be dry in there, and it would also be isolated so there would be less of a chance of having a run-in with another predator."

"Nao, have your forgotten you're a goddamn _bear_?" Tora asked in disbelief. "There is virtually nothing in a forest that would mess with a bear."

"Another bear would," Nao reminded him gravely.

"Don't shatter my illusions," Tora snorted disapprovingly, making Nao chuckle.

"Alright, so we'll go back to the cave for the night, and maybe tomorrow we'll magically wake up as humans again," Nao said, summarizing.

"And if not, we'll search for civilization," Tora suggested.

"I guess we should," Nao conceded. "Though I have to admit, however crazy being in this situation is, it's still kind of nice to have this vacation of sorts."

"Right," Tora snorted, this time in amusement.

"I guess we just have to wait for Hiroto-kun to come back, then," Nao muttered, scratching his belly absentmindedly with his bear-claws.

\- - - - - - - - - - -

Nao was pretty sure he was going to go crazy: at least when touring he could put on his headphones and drown the others out with some choice music. No such luck, now.

"...in at least three weeks, so there!" Tora exclaimed in annoyance.

"Really? Three weeks?" Hiroto asked, sounding surprised (and a bit out of breath from trying to keep up). "I got a blowjob just a couple nights ago—assuming we haven't been out for more than a day, that is."

"Yeah well, aren't you with that—that Ayako-kid?" Tora asked conversationally.

"She's not a kid," Hiroto waved him off airily. "But yes." He paused. "The blowjob wasn't from her, though."

" _Niiiice_!" Shou called out appreciatively. Nao could hear both the grin in the vocalist's voice as he said this, and the subsequent thwack he received from Saga's wing for the remark.

"Well there's gotta be one douchebag in every band, I guess," Tora tried to say seriously, but he couldn't help the chuckle that escaped him.

"Am I still a douchebag if she's fine with it, though?" Hiroto asked in amusement. "She said, _you can do whatever you want as long as you don't get anyone pregnant and don't go kissing other girls._ "

Even Nao had to laugh at his imitation of Ayako's voice.

"Seriously, where did you _find_ this chick?" Tora asked, bemused.

"I've told you this _so_ many times..." Hiroto lamented.

"It was a rhetorical question, dumbass," Tora laughed.

"Oh, shut up..." Hiroto told him with no real animosity. "Anyway, how about you, Nao-san?"

"What d'you mean?" Nao asked, not really liking where the conversation was headed.

"How long has it been since you had sex?" Hiroto asked more specifically.

"You honestly can't think of anything better to talk about?" Nao asked, scoffing.

"We're _guys_ ," Hiroto said with a bark of laughter. "What the hell else is there to talk about?"

"I'm pretty sure we've all established that we're capable of talking about things other than sex," Nao replied pointedly.

"Oh, I get it..." Shou trailed off in amusement towards the back of the group. "You don't want to answer because you're embarrassed."

"I'm not embarrassed," Nao countered, his annoyance mounting.

"Shou's right," Saga piped up, sounding nearly apologetic, "You do seem that way."

"Of _course_ you'd side with him..." Nao muttered under his breath.

"They won't stop until you answer," Tora reminded him wryly. "You know that."

"Fine..." Nao huffed, gritting his teeth a bit. "I haven't had sex in months."

" _Months_?" Hiroto exclaimed immediately, sounding shocked. "You need to get laid, bro!"

"Yes, well, I'm too preoccupied with work most of the time," Nao admitted, and somewhere in the back of his mind he was shocked he was explaining himself at all. "And when I get home I like my alone-time—"

"Well I guess porn is better than nothing," Hiroto cut in matter-of-factly.

"I never said anything about porn," Nao protested grumpily.

" _Alone-time_ sounds like a reference to porn to me," Shou said with wry amusement. "Or at least to the good ol' right hand."

Nao forced himself not to turn around and bite Shou's head off. He was supposed to be leading them to the cave he'd woken up in earlier, after all. "It's easy for you to be so amused about it when you're in a relationship, though, isn't it?"

"We're not making fun of you," Shou laughed in exasperation, "Come _on_ , Nao-kun, don't be a grouch."

"Whatever..." Nao muttered in annoyance, glad he could finally see the river through the trees.

"Well, we're all in the same boat, now," Tora said frankly after no one had said anything for a moment. "No sex, no porn, no right hand, no nothing. We're in the middle of nowhere."

"I dunno about you guys, but if there's any chance this animal-body of mine can feel pleasure, you can bet your ass I'll take advantage of it," Hiroto said mischievously. "I'm sure I can find some willing lady-squirrels."

"Disgusting..." Nao heard Saga comment.

"Hey, don't knock it 'til you try it," Hiroto shot back pleasantly, "You never know!"

"I for one am hoping we'll get out of this mess before anyone feels the need to do something that desperate," Tora commented pointedly.

"Who said anything about being desperate?" Hiroto laughed incredulously. "I'd do it just out of curiosity!"

"I repeat," Saga said primly, " _disgusting_."

"Only if you're still in a human mindset," Hiroto explained, in a ridiculously good mood. "In my mind, I'm a squirrel now, so there's really nothing wrong with wanting to tap a little squirrel behind."

"Well you've done nothing but talk about sex the whole time," Nao cut in dryly. "I'd say that's a pretty human mindset."

"You think?" Hiroto asked, bemused. "I bet if I found another dude-squirrel and talked to him, he'd be all about the sex too."

"I _have_ always wanted to know what animals were thinking..." Shou trailed off, sounding cheerful.

"You guys are hopeless," Nao told them over his shoulder in exasperation.

"Yeah, but you love us," Shou shot back immediately in complete seriousness.

"Unfortunately," Nao agreed, laughing for the first time in a while.

They were nice enough to leave him be after that, though, and Nao went back to listening to everyone else's conversations passively. He had to concentrate to remember the way back to the cave, anyway, since he had been extremely shocked when he had first come out of it and had not done a good job of taking stock of his surroundings. They were finally nearing the river, so that meant the cave would be opposite it somewhere, a clearing separating them both. The trouble was finding it.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Tora trotting up to his side; he must have tired of the discussion further back.

"I think we're almost there," He said rather unhelpfully.

"It's just a little further ahead, the place where we met," Nao replied, feeling a yawn coming on. "Then I'll have to try to actually remember which direction the cave is in."

"Well hopefully we'll be able to spot your tracks somewhere," Tora said, snorting and tossing his head out of the blue.

"Yes, well... here's the river, anyway," Nao remarked, inclining his head towards the body of water.

"Oh, good, I'm parched!" Shou exclaimed, as he bounded past the both of them towards the riverbank.

"Shou—stop running off without me!" Saga cried out in annoyance, and Nao was more than a little amused at the sight of him as a peacock trying valiantly to catch up. He forced himself not to catch Saga by the tail just for the fun of it.

"So _that's_ what I am..." Shou said appreciatively as he gazed at his reflection in the water.

"What do you mean?" Nao asked him, approaching so that he could also have a drink.

"Well I knew I was a cat, obviously," Shou explained, sounding pleased, "But I didn't know what species I was. I'm an Iriomote Cat—rare and endangered."

"Oh, don't look so smug about it," Saga told him without any real bite, thwacking him lightly with his wing again.

"How _else_ should I look?" Shou laughed.

"Scared?" Tora suggested.

"Why would I be scared?" Shou asked, bemused. "That's ridiculous."

Tora shrugged (it looked incredibly weird, considering he was a zebra). "You never know what could happen."

"Considering we've mysteriously turned into animals, I guess that's fair," Shou admitted. "Anyway, whatever happens, I intend to make the best of this."

"Right on!" Hiroto yelled out appreciatively, holding up his paw for a long distance high-five, which Shou returned.

Nao thought he heard Saga mumble something about dorks.

"It shouldn't be too much farther now," He told them all tiredly; it wasn't even dark yet, but it already felt like he should be asleep. He supposed the shocking events of the day were starting to catch up with him.

"Could this cave of yours possibly be somewhere on the side of that huge cliff?" Hiroto asked in amusement.

Nao was speechless for a moment when he turned around and finally noticed the towering cliff of rock just a little way past the trees. Then he found his voice, though it was still a bit dazed-sounding. "Yes... that's probably where it is."

"Good," Hiroto said simply, and he scurried off in that direction, leaving the rest of them on the riverbank.

"We should catch up with him," Nao said matter-of-factly, all the while not wanting to move. He'd been walking all day, and his paws were starting to get tired.

"We should," Saga agreed, looking just as unenthused at the idea.

It took a minute or two more of stalling, and then finally everyone, after having had a drink, followed Nao into the trees and towards the cave. Considering the fact that they found the path he had bounded through earlier in the day after only a little while, the going was not very tough. They were still all tired, though, and eager for a good night's sleep. Not that Nao expected he'd get one, having to worry about figuring out a way to get them all back to their own bodies.

Finally, after a few more complaints from Saga about his cumbersome tail, they arrived at the cave, an unattractive, jagged hole in the rock of the cliff.

"Geez, talk about slow!" They heard Hiroto snicker from up in the trees. "I've been waiting here for _ever_."

Funny, Nao could have sworn they'd only taken five minutes. He supposed it was possible Hiroto was just ridiculously impatient, though.

"Well come on, then," Shou told him. "Aren't you tired?"

"A little bit," Hiroto replied, scurrying down the tree at a pace that was hard to follow. "I'd rather sleep up in a tree, but something tells me this is going to be one of those times you put your foot down, Nao-san."

"And you'd be right," Nao agreed darkly.

They followed him into the cave.


	3. Chapter 3

Nao woke up and immediately felt disoriented. Why was it so dark? Why was his bed so hard? Why was it so uncomfortably hot? Had he forgotten to turn on the air conditioner before he'd gone to sleep? And then it hit him. He was not at home in his own bed, or even in his own body. He was a bear, and he was hungry.

He groaned loudly in frustration and rolled onto his back, accidently kicking Tora's leg in the process; he knew that's what it was, because as soon as he did it, Tora tumbled straight onto his stomach and knocked the wind out of him.

"Wha the fuck, man..." Tora mumbled, half-asleep, his muzzle inches from Nao's.

"Get off me!" Nao wheezed urgently, his paws pinned to the floor. His luck was simply unbelievable.

Tora staggered unsteadily to his feet and blinked down at Nao in confusion for a moment before he seemed to suddenly grasp the situation. "Well, shit," he said matter-of-factly.

"I know," Nao agreed irritably, "We're still animals."

"Orhing!" They heard someone call out in a muffled voice; when they looked towards the cave entrance, they spotted Shou trotting in with a dead rabbit in his mouth. He appeared to be struggling with its awkward weight slightly, but he was humming cheerfully.

"He's _too_ happy," Nao grumbled in an undertone to Tora, who nodded in agreement.

"Agha!" They heard him call out again as he approached Saga who was lying on the cave floor, his long tail feathers spread out behind him, "Aih ga sasih!" As if in a mirror of the day before, Shou spat the catch out in front of Saga, starting to purr, and sat in front of him expectantly. "You hungry?"

"Yes, very," Saga said appreciatively as Shou nudged the dead rabbit closer to Saga's beak. "And since you keep saying we don't spend enough time together lately, I thought after eating we could go do a little exploring, have a little tumble in the forest," Shou said eagerly, clearly trying to entice Saga, "you know, that sort of thing..."

The heartfelt scene made Nao want to retch.

"They're _always_ together," Tora muttered in disbelief, "What the fuck is Saga on?"

"I have no idea," Nao replied out of the corner of his mouth.

"...sounds wonderful," Saga said, seeming pleased. He then started working at the rabbit's pelt, slowly ripping it open with his beak, while Shou settled down across from him and tore into the opposite flank. Nao felt almost as though he were intruding upon a candlelit dinner, and turned away, annoyed.

"I swear, it's like they don't even notice there are other people in the room," Tora muttered, shaking his head.

"I'm hungry," Nao grumbled even more irritably than before; he could smell the rabbit's blood and it was making him salivate.

"How about we go out to the river and get ourselves some breakfast, then?" Tora suggested in an undertone, glancing back at Shou and Saga. "They're probably just going to get even more unbearable the longer we stay."

" _Anything_ to get out of this cave," Nao muttered, getting up and shaking the grit off of his fur.

So it was that they got up and headed for the cave's exit, not paying any mind to the fact that there was no light coming in from the end of the tunnel; it was entirely possible it was still nighttime, after all. They didn't talk as they walked through the dark passage, so the sound of claws and hooves scraping against the ground echoed eerily against the stone; the sound was so distracting, in fact, that without realizing it, Nao soon marched straight into the wall, Tora banging into him from behind.

"What the—"

" _Ow_!" Nao roared in pain, immediately pushing back against Tora and clutching his sore nose.

"What the hell happened?" Tora asked, sounding slightly out of breath from shock.

"I don't know," Nao growled out angrily, his voice muffled by his large paw, "The tunnel just ended!"

"It _ended_?" Tora asked in horror, "What do you mean it _ended_?"

"It means what I said, dumbass!" Nao exclaimed, irritably, "I don't know why the hell the opening isn't here anymore and this cave just keeps getting hotter and I'm starving and I need—"

"Okay," Tora said, cutting him off hastily, "Okay. We need to take a deep breath and calm down." Nao rubbed his nose some more, scowling, but decided that Tora was right in suggesting they calm down. "What if we accidently took a different tunnel?"

"There was only one tunnel, and this is it," Nao said flatly. "Shou-kun came in from it not ten minutes ago."

"How about we retrace our steps and we see what Shou-kun says, then?" Tora asked, sounding unnerved.

"This is fucking insane..." Nao grumbled under his breath, pushing past Tora to lumber back the way they'd come. There was really no point in trying to make sense of the situation anymore: first they'd been turned into animals, and now the land was spontaneously shifting on them? He tried not to consider the idea that they could very well be trapped inside the cave. It would truly send him over the edge.

"So..." Tora trailed off awkwardly, after a minute. "Did you have a dream?"

"Yes," Nao snapped, voice dripping in sarcasm, "I was chasing butterflies in a field, and we were all giggling and talking about how silly Mister Sun was for constantly hiding behind the clouds."

"Wow, no need to jump down my throat..." Tora replied dryly, though it sounded to Nao as though he were holding back a laugh.

"Actually... I dreamt my mom was telling me I needed to wash my clothes, but we were sitting on a couch in the middle of the desert," Nao admitted grudgingly, and he could finally hear the sound of Shou and Saga bickering. They were close.

"I don't remember mine," Tora said matter-of-factly.

"Well good for you," Nao grumbled, realizing full-well that he was being unnecessarily abrasive, but he didn't have any time, really, to soften his tone or apologize because as soon as he set foot into the cave, he was hit with a wave of heat. He almost choked, it was so unexpected.

"Holy f—"

"You guys just walked out of the wall!" Shou exclaimed, cutting Saga off in alarm. "We thought you were done for!"

Nao stood, blinking at them dumbly. Then he turned and glanced back at the solid wall behind him; there was indeed no longer a tunnel there. When he brought his paw up to press against the rock, he found that it was rough and _very_ tangible. He turned to look at Tora's equally shocked face and then everything went dark.

\- - - - - - - - - - -

Nao groaned as he woke; his shoulder was more than a little sore and his back was feeling no better. At least it didn't seem to be broken.

"... _can't_ stay here," He heard Saga insist from further away in the cave. "There's no food and no water—"

"True," Tora agreed solemnly, "True."

"We need to figure a way out," Shou said decisively, "And then we need to decide whether to move to a new place or to just bring everything we need to survive into this cave."

"I'm pretty sure getting out of here would be the best way to go," Saga said matter-of-factly. "At least then, we'd have fresh air."

"Good point," Shou conceded. "Alright then, I guess it would be in our best interest to find a different place to stay."

"A place with lots of grass, maybe?" Tora asked in a hopeful tone of voice.

For some reason, this made Nao start to snigger, and since he was a bear, his amusement was unfortunately impossible to ignore.

"So you're awake," Tora remarked dryly.

Nao cleared his throat, before attempting a serious answer. "What happened?"

"You fainted." It was Tora turn to be amused.

"I did not..." Nao snorted in disbelief.

Oh, you _did_ ," Shou told him, sounding nearly smug. "Dropped like a stone, you did."

Nao sighed, rubbing the side of his face and yawning. "Okay, just—forget it." He shook his head. "We're just wasting time. We need to get out of here as soon as possible."

"That's what I've been _saying_ ," Saga insisted, sounding faintly annoyed.

"Well then what's been stopping you?" Nao asked, perplexed.

"First off, you were unconscious," Saga told him, ruffling his tail feathers absently. "And second—"

"Hiroto-kun is missing," Shou cut in bluntly. "We have no idea where he went. He got up before I did, and I didn't see him anywhere when I was able to go out and hunt earlier."

"Great..." Nao sighed tiredly. " _Great_."

"I'm sure he's fine," Shou said, even though he looked very _un_ sure. "And anyway, since the only tunnel out is now blocked, there doesn't seem to be much we can do but brainstorm while we wait for him to turn up."

"There must be rocks around that we can use to grind against the walls..." Tora said consideringly.

"There, see?" Shou asked with a certain amount of satisfaction. "A good idea already."

"Well I guess if we can find a couple boulders, I can try to throw them against the spot where the tunnel opening used to be," Nao said, getting up. "Anyway... I need something to take my mind off how hungry I am."

The other three looked away from him nervously.

"Don't worry," Nao grumbled, "I'd have to be pretty damn hungry to eat you sorry bunch."

They all laughed nervously at this, and Nao forced out a crooked smile. Once again, he reminded himself that being grumpy would do no good: he had to try and keep everyone motivated. And that most definitely included himself.

"Alright," He said in a neutral tone, shaking his large body as he began walking to try and cool himself off, "Let's start by hugging the walls to see if we can find any loose rocks. This cave is fairly big, so we should split up into teams—if you find anything that's too big, call out to me and I'll try my best to move it. We'll bring everything to the center." He paused and let them all nod in understanding. "Now of course you two," He continued, nodding to Shou and Saga, "Can go together, and Tora, you're—"

"Hey guys, you miss me?"

"Oh for the love of—" Nao barked out in frustration, "Where the hell've you been?"

"I woke up early and I wanted to get a bit of fresh air and then I lost track of time exploring..." Hiroto trailed off cheerfully. "Well, anyway, I think there's something you all need to see."

"How did you get back inside?" Nao demanded, ignoring the rest.

"The tunnel, _obviously_ ," Hiroto laughed, unconcerned.

"But the tunnel disappeared!" Nao exclaimed indignantly, feeling a frustration-headache coming on.

"What're you talking about?" Hiroto asked, laughing more. "I just came from there—look!"

And sure enough, when they turned to look in the direction Hiroto was pointing at with one of his little paws, they were astounded to see the tunnel entrance. It looked as though it had been there all along. Nao could even see daylight reflecting off the walls further on. He stood stock-still for a moment, and then, as if the fact that the entrance was there had finally hit him, he set off towards and down the tunnel at a dead run, desperate to make it outside before the exit somehow closed up again.

He could hear the others calling out to him and following behind, but he didn't stop, not even when he scraped his shoulder against one of the curves in the tunnel. It was so unbearably hot, he didn't think he could stay inside the cave a moment longer. He was in no way prepared for what met him once his eyes adjusted to the light, however.

A slight, hot breeze slid over his pelt as he gazed out at the mountain in the distance; its peak stretched above the clouds and at its foot was a wild-looking jungle of trees. In between him and the gigantic mountain there was nothing but a few thin trees and grass. He looked off to the left and spied a large cluster of trees and some shade. He was dumbfounded.

"Where _are_ we?" He heard Saga murmur behind him incredulously.

Out of the corner of his eye, Nao spied a herd of some sort of animal and he slowly turned his head to look. They certainly weren't horses...

"Those are gazelles!" Shou exclaimed, sounding pleasantly surprised.

"Wow, you're right!" Saga remarked, astonished, and he moved past Nao to take a closer look. "There are two giraffes over by that tree—look!"

"Well I'll be..." Shou trailed off, sounding just as astonished; he went to lie next to Saga, crouching low in the grass.

"We must be in Africa," Nao muttered more to himself than anyone else. "This is crazy."

"What the hell happened to the forest we were in yesterday?" Tora asked, sounding taken-aback. It seemed he had been the last to emerge from the cave.

"I have no goddamn idea," Nao said, glancing back at him with a bit of a grimace. That's when he noticed Tora had wasted no time at all in beginning to graze; it made Nao remember just how hungry he still was.

"Awesome, or what?" Hiroto asked, and Nao almost jumped in surprise at the fact that Hiroto had come to sit near his paw without him realizing it.

"I'm hungry, and if I don't get out of the heat, I'm going to pass out, or die," Nao said frankly, "So no, it's _not_ awesome."

He knew, logically, that blaming Hiroto for the sudden change in scenery made no sense, but Nao was having trouble thinking straight. He needed shade, at the very least, and he knew it would be useless to return to the cave, which was quickly becoming an oven, so instead, he made for the large cluster of trees he had noticed moments earlier. He didn't bother alerting the others and simply took off.

"It's too bad I don't have..." He rest of what Hiroto had begun saying was lost on Nao as he bounded towards the trees; it wasn't much, but at least the small breeze he generated while running cooled him off a bit. Granted, he was even more tired than he'd been earlier when he arrived under the cover of the trees, but at least the shade provided some relief from the heat. Already, he wondered how he'd manage without any water close by or prey easy enough for him to catch; giraffes would be too big to take down on his own, and the gazelles would probably try to gore him with their horns if they didn't outrun him first. There weren't a whole lot of options, especially because there were no other creatures in sight.

He spied the others approaching him at a steady pace.

He suddenly wished he'd watched more nature shows so he would know what sorts of animals he could expect to find during the day; he supposed he'd be fine to wait until the night when it was cooler, but he was so _hungry_...

"What was that all about?" Tora asked as he neared the shade under the trees; the others weren't far behind him.

"I needed to get out of the sun," Nao said miserably, laying his head on his paws.

"It is pretty hot, isn't it?" Tora remarked lightly. "I guess with all that fur, you must be boiling."

"You think?" Nao grumbled.

"Maybe we should ask the gazelles if they know where there's water," Tora suggested, coming to stand near him.

"And what makes you think they'd want to share?" Nao asked with a humourless laugh.

"Well there's no harm in trying, is there?" Tora asked wryly. "We have to do _something_ , anyway, because I seriously doubt there's any sort of guidebook around here for lost animals."

The chuckle Nao suddenly heard from up above startled him so greatly he jumped to his feet, hackles raised.

"What's—"

"Shhh!" Nao cut off Shou, listening and beginning to scan the foliage overhead.

"Just what _are_ you?" The voice asked, sounding amused; it was female, Nao was certain.

"I'm a bear," He replied, his tone guarded. "What's it to you?"

"Come now, there's no need to be so defensive..." The female voice chuckled lowly.

"Show yourself," Tora said in a hard tone.

"A _zebra_ making demands of me?" She asked, sounding highly amused. "Oh, how delightful—yes, how positively amusing!"

"It's easy to feel so high-and-mighty when you won't even show yourself," Tora said coolly, unwilling to rise to the soft taunt. "For all we know, you could be a scared little—"

They all stood stunned as a leopard jumped down from the tree she had been lying in and Nao was not quite certain whether he'd actually be able to take her on if she attacked them.

"Don't worry about _little_ old me," She said, curling her tail around her elegant forepaws smugly. "I am called Ntombi, and I certainly don't hunt during the day."

"Saga it's a real leopard!" Shou suddenly exclaimed excitedly, "A _real_ one! Oh my _god_!"

Nao winced in embarrassment.

To her credit, the leopard merely chuckled indulgently. "Yes, well- _spotted_ , little one." She wore a catty smile. "Pun intended."

"That was horrible," Tora said in disgust.

"A zebra telling me I'm not funny!" The leopard called Ntombi laughed, "Oh, you _are_ daring!"

Nao cleared his throat importantly. "We're, erm... travellers," he settled on saying. "We're not from here—I know my companions are a bit exasperating, but I would be very grateful if you could point us in the direction of water or even some sort of human—"

"Humans?" The leopard asked, cutting him off pleasantly. "Whatever would you want with those silly creatures?"

Nao bit his tongue for a moment. "Nevermind that. Now, about water..."

"Well that depends what kind of hurry you're in, doesn't it," She told them matter-of-factly. "You could try to approach the gazelles about it, but they're quite unpleasant about sharing if you're not one of them. Then there's the river, not too far from here, but alligators live there, and they're not very friendly, let me tell you. The water is good, but you'd have a hard time getting away if they decided you were worth the effort to take by surprise and catch."

"So we have to go to the gazelles, then," Nao concluded, a bit grumpily.

"Now, now, let me finish..." Ntombi admonished, and she flashed her teeth at him in a menacing grin. "You also have the option of walking most of the day to get to the jungle by the mountain," She continued, pointing out its direction vaguely with one of her slender paws, "And the water hole just within the outer tree line will be impossible to miss."

"Oh. Yes, that does sound much better. Thank you for the help," Nao said sincerely.

"It's no trouble," She replied, sounding smug. "And I should add that if you find yourselves getting lost near the jungle, you should ask the monkeys—though to be honest, they're often more a hindrance than a help. It depends on the day."

"Look at how _beautiful_ she is," Nao heard Shou say in a stage whisper. "Just... wow."

"I already have a mate, little one," Ntombi told Shou, looking amused and flattered all at once.

"Oh, god no!" Shou shot back in disgust, "That is _not_ what I meant!"

"Should I be offended?" The leopard asked Nao doubtfully. Nao shook his head.

"I was _not_ looking at you in that way," Shou assured her, "I have a... mate, too."

"Do you?" She asked, seeming quite interested.

"Yes, this peacock," Shou said, sounding defiant.

"You're serious?" Ntombi asked, laughing. "You mate with a different species?"

"Well, not exactly..." Shou trailed off awkwardly. "We're not exactly _mating_ , per se, at the moment. But I _do_ care about him."

"And it's a male!" She exclaimed, looking even more amused. "Well I'll be!" Her tailed uncoiled from around her paws and waved from side to side, as though to illustrate her interest. "You know, my old uncle Rodrigue—bless his soul—used to have a fascination with cranes. I was very young when he died, but I always did wonder if his fascination was a bit more than just predatory..."

Nao turned to look at the pair and saw Saga ruffle his feathers uncomfortably.

"Well, anyway," Ntombi said, seeming to snap out of her nostalgia, "I've never met another cat who showed such interest in a different species. How very curious, indeed. I suppose it's possible to see this bird of yours as something other than food, but—oh, don't look so frightened, you silly peacock!" She laughed, seeing Saga inch closer to Shou. "I already told you I don't hunt during the day and besides, you both are much too fascinating to consider eating."

"Maybe we should get going now..." Tora trailed off hesitantly.

"I daresay you should, travellers, if you are to reach the jungle before nightfall," Ntombi agreed pleasantly, without skipping a beat. "I do believe you are the most fascinating group of animals I have ever met—I hope we might one day meet again."

"That would be nice," Nao said, attempting to be polite instead of impatient, "But I doubt we'll be back."

"Well then, safe travels," She said demurely.

"Goodbye," Nao told her, the others echoing him.

Nao tried not to think about how far away the water hole they were travelling to was, and attempted instead to focus on the fact that they'd get there before nightfall, and that by then the air would cool and he could find himself something to eat. They had begun to walk away when Ntombi the leopard called out to them.

"Yes?" He asked, turning to look at her.

"Give me your names," She said pleasantly, but Nao sensed this was more a demand than a request.

"I am Nao," He said, hoping this would be the last of the conversation, "This zebra is Tora, that's Hiroto, the peacock is called Saga, and finally," He continued, gesturing to the vocalist, "This is Shou."

"What foreign-sounding names!" Ntombi exclaimed, seeming delighted.

"Foreign, indeed..." He heard Tora mutter.

\- - - - - - - - - - -

It felt like they'd been walking for at least two hours and yet the jungle seemed no closer. Though the others had been chatting most of the way so far, Nao had chosen to remain silent; it was easier to keep going if he focused all his attention on putting one paw in front of the other. It was a bit difficult to ignore the conversation, though, when Hiroto, scurrying in the shade underneath Nao's sizeable belly, was yakking away to the others the whole time.

Hiroto was the only one out of all of them that didn't seem at all bothered by the fact that he had been turned into an animal. It was utterly vexing, how cool he was being towards the whole affair.

Despite all this, though, Nao had to admit that the sights were impressive: they'd seen a far-off troupe of elephants not twenty minutes earlier, had come close to a herd of wildebeest (if Shou's assessment was to be trusted) and had seen all sorts of other animals none of them had a name for. If Nao hadn't been so hot, hungry and thirsty, he had no doubt he would actually be enjoying himself. After all, he'd certainly never been on a savannah before, and kind of doubted he'd be given the opportunity again in the future.

"There are so many reasons you could have chosen," he heard Saga say incredulously, "And _that's_ what you decided to go with?"

"I like to cover all the bases," He heard Tora explain rather defensively, "I like to..." But Tora didn't finish his sentence. In fact, he stopped in his tracks and stared off to his right, seeming to forget they were supposed to be walking to that all-important water hole.

"We have to—"

"There are so _many_..." Tora murmured, transfixed.

Annoyed at the fact that he'd been cut off, Nao gave in and followed Tora's line of sight. And then he understood: there was a large herd of zebras grazing nearby.

"I have to talk to them," Tora said decisively, and without waiting for a reply, he began cantering off towards the striped horses leaving the rest of them standing in exasperation.

"We have to go after him," Nao told them all flatly after a moment.

"We _could_ just continue and let him catch up," Saga suggested with hesitance. Nao quite liked the idea but knew that if Tora somehow lost them or decided not to catch up after all, he'd never forgive himself.

"We're going," Nao told them pointedly, and he made sure that his expression gave them no room for protest.

Unfortunately, retrieving Tora also meant they'd be taking a bit of a detour and wasting precious time; Nao decided he'd have a few choice words for the guitarist-turned-zebra when they were finally able to drag him back. Since they all began their approach slowly, not wanting to cause the zebras any undue alarm, it took quite a little while before they were able to get anywhere near Tora. And then they realized they didn't really have any way to pick him out from all the other zebras.

"It just gets better every blasted second," Nao muttered grumpily to himself.

"Should we just call out to him?" Shou asked, sounding doubtful. "Maybe he'd call back or come over."

"Or... he'd ignore us," Hiroto said, starting to laugh, "I think I see him."

"How could you possibly know which one he is?" Nao asked, feeling irritated at Hiroto for noticing something he hadn't.

"Well first of all, I can hear his voice," Hiroto laughed, "And second, I can see him talking to two zebras over there, apart from the rest. It looks like he's putting the moves on them."

"Holy shit, you're right," Shou joined in laughing, "The dirtbag ran off to flirt with the locals!"

"And they're falling right into his web..." Saga trailed off, sounding both exasperated and amused all at once.

Nao slapped his overlarge paw to his forehead in frustration and groaned in disbelief, scaring a handful of zebras in the vicinity.

"Begone, vile beast!" One of them called out angrily.

"What're they from? The 14th century?" Nao muttered in annoyance.

"It's cool, they're with me!" They heard Tora assure the voice's owner loudly. "They won't cause any trouble!"

Nao was in no mood to be taking detours or to allow Tora to flirt with females willy-nilly. They had an objective, and he was _hungry_.

"...aren't you?" Nao heard Tora ask the zebras playfully as they approached. "You two must get _all_ the males."

"How do girls _fall_ for this horseshit?" Nao muttered to himself in disbelieving undertone.

"Ladies, meet my herd," Tora said silkily, tossing his mane importantly.

They giggled at him (it was more like whinnying, really) but didn't look over to the place Nao and the others were standing.

"Ebele, don't you think we'd be much better off in _his_ herd?" One of the zebras asked the other in a decidedly girlish tone.

"A stallion as handsome as you _needs_ himself a harem," The zebra called Ebele told Tora in what she must have considered a sultry tone. "It's time for us to leave our father's herd, anyway."

"We're of age now," The other said in a conspirational tone.

"Yes," Ebele agreed, sounding coquettish. "Akua and I will both bear you many healthy foals."

Nao was amused to see a momentary look of discomfort cross Tora's long face.

"And if you keep us safe," The one called Akua added mischievously, "We will _always_ keep you satisfied."

Of course, as soon as the zebra called Akua had promised that, it was all over: Nao had seen that look on Tora's face before, and he knew very well what was about to happen.

"You're completely right," Tora told them, seeming to lift his muzzle slightly in self-importance, "I _do_ need a harem."

"We'll attend to your every desire," Ebele said dramatically.

"Your every whim!" Akua agreed, her eyes sparkling.

It was all almost too much for Nao who had gone from amusement to disgust in mere seconds. Just the thought of having to suffer their inane chit-chat and incessant whinnying on the way to the water hole was unbearable.

"We'll be back," Nao heard them tell Tora, "We must give our father the good news and our farewell!"

Hiroto was the first to scurry up to Tora once the females had trotted off, though Nao, Shou and Saga were close behind him.

"Nice going, bro!" Hiroto called out appreciatively.

Tora flicked his tail in satisfaction. "They know where there's a closer water hole," Tora told them in an undertone, looking about for any eavesdroppers before continuing. "Hopefully we can lose them afterwards."

"And you called _me_ a douchebag!" Hiroto exclaimed, laughing in disbelief.

"Well, Nao has been a complete downer this whole time, and he'll stay that way until he gets water," Tora explained with a bit of amusement. "I don't mind suffering their company as long as it makes our pack leader, here, less of a grump."

"Gee, thanks," Nao said dryly, making the others laugh.

"Bros before hos, right?" Tora asked, grinning mischievously.

" _Always_ ," Hiroto agreed with a chuckle, patting one of Tora's front legs with his tiny paw.

\- - - - - - - - - - -

For all Nao knew, they may only have been travelling for an hour, but with all the nattering the two female zebras had done so far, it had felt more like three. It was _sexy stallion_ this, and _what a fine mane_ that, and regardless of Tora having admitted he was only leading the mares on, he seemed to be enjoying the attention quite a lot. Outright encouraging it, even. It was vexing.

"I really wish Chiko were with us," Nao heard Saga sigh; he and Shou were walking in the middle of the group with Nao (and Hiroto scurrying underneath him) taking up the rear. They'd all agreed nothing would be likely to approach them if Nao was keeping a close eye on their backs.

"You think that old geezer would be keen on a walk through the savannah?" Shou asked, sounding amused. "I'll admit, though, it would be interesting to talk to him."

"He'd definitely laugh at how I look," Saga said, laughing, himself.

"You know what?" Shou asked, "I'd like to know what he thinks of me occasionally staying the night."

"You _do_ take up his spot on the bed," Saga said consideringly.

Once more, Nao was annoyed at them for discussing something like that where he could hear, but there wasn't much he could do about it. He wasn't about to yell at them to pipe down; at least it was better than having to hear the zebras' high-pitched, girlish whinnies.

"He's more than welcome to sleep at our feet," Shou continued, amused. "It's like he feels he should give us privacy."

"He's _smart_ ," Saga said matter-of-factly.

"For a dog," Shou chuckled.

"What's that supposed to—"

"No, _I_ want to lead him!" One of the female mares exclaimed loudly.

"Ebele, you're _always_ such an attention wh—"

"Ladies, _ladies_..." Tora interrupted in a smooth, self-important tone, "There is _plenty_ of me to go around."

This, of course, sent the two into a fit of flirtatious giggling.

"I think so much more could be accomplished if you both worked together, don't you think?" Tora asked silkily.

"He really is a dandy, isn't he?" Nao heard Shou murmur to Saga with considerable amusement.

"The faster we all get a little water to drink, the faster we can move on to..." Tora trailed off dramatically. "More pleasurable things."

Again, with the inane giggling.

"It's just a little further, beyond the bushes ahead," The one called Akua informed Tora coyly.

"After you've drunk your fill, we'll find some shade," Ebele told him in a similar tone. "You can rest and then later you can mount us!"

Tora snorted loudly, and Nao suspected it was out of shock; he heard Hiroto trying to cover up rampant snickering and from the way Shou and Saga were walking strangely, Nao could only assume they were finding the situation just as funny.

"That sounds... great." Tora's tone wasn't as smooth as before.

"And I'm older," Ebele said smugly, "So I get to be first."

Akua snorted in annoyance, but said nothing.

"Oh, look, is that the water hole?" Tora asked, sounding even more unnerved than before.

"Such good eyes, he has!" Akua exclaimed delightedly to her half-sister.

"Finally!" Nao roared in relief, startling everyone nearby when he spotted the body of water, himself; he wasted no time in bounding past them all towards the dirty, but no less precious water. He felt almost euphoric at the sight before him, forgetting how hot it was, how the sun hitting his dark fur had made it feel as though his back were on fire... none of that mattered anymore. He could wet his palate. "Akua!" He called out delightedly behind him, "Ebele! I could _kiss_ you!"

It was so close, he could _taste_ it, his paws already sinking into the mucky bank at the pool's edge. As soon as he bent his head to dip his tongue into the blessed water, however, he was blinded by a sudden flash of light. And everything went dark.


	4. Chapter 4

Nao breathed a sigh of relief when he regained his sight and realized he was still staring down at the water he had walked so long to find. Without hesitation, he bent to drink; the water was actually rather cool, which surprised and delighted him. There was even a nice breeze blowing (the air had been still most of the afternoon) and shade overhead. He tried to convince himself it was merely Tora standing over him and blocking the sunlight.

"Ebele?" He heard Tora call out in confusion, "Akua?"

"Where _are_ we?" Shou asked, sounding surprised.

"In _paradise_ , obviously!" Hiroto replied with a laugh. "I know exactly where we are!"

Nao squeezed his eyes shut and forced himself to keep drinking despite the sinking feeling in his stomach. He'd already had enough adventure to last him for one year and wanted out: the forest had been comfortable, at least...

"...in Hawaii!" Hiroto answered excitedly. "In fact, we shot our first photobook just over there—you can see the valley through the trees. Remember?"

"Now that you mention it..." Shou trailed off, realization dawning on him. "I _do_ remember this place. Except we came in and left from the other side of the valley."

Nao heard a loud, unattractive squawk and the beating of wings.

" _Finally_ we end up somewhere nice!" Saga exclaimed gaily out of the blue.

And of course Shou felt the need to start purring.

"Ebele?" Nao heard Tora call out again, sounding worried. "Ebele?!"

"Suddenly he wants to keep them?" Hiroto snorted (presumably to Shou), amused.

Nao growled in frustration and turned around. "I've had _enough_!" He roared, and birds flew from trees nearby, scared at the outburst. "I want to be back in the studio practicing, or at home with my computers! I want to be going out to eat at a _good_ restaurant instead of feeling starved!" Nao waved one of his paws angrily. "I want to pour myself a drink and watch some porn! I want to sleep in an actual bed! Fuck this place, and fucking this fucking situation!" He roared again. " _FUUUUUUCK_!"

There was a moment of awkward silence.

"He's lost it," Shou muttered.

"I guess we were right about the whole porn-thing," Hiroto muttered back, matter-of-factly.

Nao groaned in frustrated exasperation and turned back to the water to drink some more. Maybe they were right: maybe it was the beginning of the end, and in mere hours, he'd be reduced to curling up in a corner and laughing maniacally to himself. He could see it happening.

"Would it really be so bad to be stuck here for a while?" Saga asked, incredulous. "I mean, we're in _Hawaii_!"

"It's definitely a great place to take a break," Shou agreed.

"Have you all forgotten I'm a bear?" Nao asked, rounding on them in frustration. "I'm not _supposed_ to be able to live in this kind of climate!"

"Suddenly he's an expert..." Shou trailed off dryly.

"Oh, shut up," Nao snapped, "I'm starving, and I'm hot, and I want to be human again—besides, we're supposed to be _practicing_."

"Well, think about this," Shou said, still purring and ignoring Nao's hostility, "This is the third place we've come to, and we haven't stayed at any place for long—it stands to reason we won't be here for long either, so I think we should enjoy it." He held up his paw when Nao tried to cut in. "None of us know what's going on, or how to get out of the situation, so I think we should just stay together, stay alive, and try not to stress ourselves out or go crazy."

Hiroto and Saga murmured in agreement.

"Getting our tails in a twist isn't going to help," Shou finished calmly.

"Ohohoho," Nao chuckled softly, his eyes wide; he realized he must seem a bit unhinged. "You think relaxing is going to help, do you? What if you get _so_ comfortable as an animal, you forget you're supposed to be human, or you decide you don't want to go back?" He widened his eyes even more, giving them all a wild look. "What if we all stay trapped like this forever?"

"Well if we simply don't know what's going on, it can't be helped," Shou said, shrugging (or at least that's what it seemed like).

"As soon as you start getting comfortable, you've given up," Nao barked out sternly. "We can't relax: we have to stay alive, and keep moving—we have to keep thinking."

"We _are_ thinking," Saga snorted.

"Yes, like _animals_ ," Nao said darkly, "and that is going to lead us down a very bad road."

"Don't be so serious, Nao-san," Hiroto cut in airily, "You're not going to be good for anything if you stress yourself out so much."

"Akua?" Nao heard Tora call faintly in the distance.

"You're _not_ animals," Nao said, giving them each a serious glare. "Don't you dare forget that."

"I bet there are tons of fish in the pond," Hiroto remarked offhandedly before dashing off to see Tora.

Nao stood stunned, wondering why he hadn't thought of catching himself a fish as soon as he'd begun drinking. Once again, he found himself a bit annoyed at the fact that Hiroto was pointing out some seemingly-obvious fact to him.

"I'll help you, if you want," Shou offered, slinking over towards Nao in the grass. "You know, catch fish. I think it would be easier if we tried to corner them together."

Nao sighed. "Yeah, alright. Thanks."

"We're gonna get through this," Shou laughed, nudging him encouragingly, "And we'll start by having a late lunch."

\- - - - - - - - - - -

They'd been walking for almost an hour, Nao figured. After he and Shou had caught some fish and shared it between them (of course Nao's share had been considerably bigger) they'd all agreed to get on their way. None of them had any sort of idea of where they should head, but it was true that they'd been to the area years earlier and so they'd started in the direction they believed would lead them to civilization. Nao had a lot less trouble appreciating the walking this time, since, despite the heat, there was a breeze, and he was (for the most part) full.

Tora had reluctantly agreed Akua and Ebele were not likely to show up, Hiroto hadn't talked about "getting tail" in a good while, neither Shou nor Saga had mentioned anything vaguely private in Nao's presence... it was shaping up to be a good afternoon. In fact, Nao could feel his bad mood starting to lift.

"Personally, I think it would be great," Shou said offhandedly. "But that's really just because of—"

"Yoo hoo!" Someone cooed off to the side, getting all their attention quite effectively. "Are you new here?"

"Yes, we're—"

"No, not _you_ ," The owner of the voice said impatiently before their tone turned more coy. "You, the handsome peacock."

"Yes..." Saga trailed off, glancing at Shou.

Suddenly there was a veritable _chorus_ of giggling. Saga chuckled along uneasily, glancing at Shou again.

"You should come join us for the mating dance this evening," The voice called out rather flirtatiously. "All the peacocks and peahens in the valley will be there—every peafowl who's _any_ peafowl."

"And it looks to us like you've got a _very_ big train!"

Nao couldn't believe what he was hearing, and was even more shocked when he saw Saga sort of perk up and puff out his feathery chest at the words.

"It _is_ big, yes," He replied with considerable smugness.

This time, it wasn't just the voices in the trees that giggled; Hiroto, Tora and Shou appeared to be trying not to burst out laughing. Nao, well, he had to admit he was having a bit of a hard time not laughing, himself.

"You'd better be there, then!" The voice called out in a playful tone.

"How do I get there?" Saga called back and Nao was too busy trying not to laugh to say that there was no way in hell they were going out of their way to watch some birds dance around and get it on.

"Just follow the sound of the waterfall!" The voice called back, giggling, "See you there!"

And the giggling voices slowly faded, leaving Nao wondering just how they kept running into crazy situation after crazy situation.

"We're going, right?" Saga asked, after a moment.

"What're you talking about?" Tora asked, nickering in amusement.

"I want to go," Saga mumbled, scratching the ground.

"There's no way," Nao snorted in disbelief. "We can't be going on crazy detours every time some voice in the trees tells us it might be fun."

"I want to go," Saga said again, looking pointedly at Shou.

"Saga, baby, stop doing that," Shou said in exasperation, "That's not fair."

"But, Shou, they invited me..."

Shou looked over at Nao with exasperation written all over his catty face. "He's giving me his birdie eyes and—I'm sorry but I just..." He shook his head, looking back at Saga. "With or without you all, I'm going to go with him."

"What a surprise _that_ is," Hiroto snorted, his tail twitching.

Nao sighed heavily in annoyance. "Fuck it." He scratched the side of his cheek with one of his large paws. "There's no way we're splitting up, and, I mean, what the hell," He continued in a forced cheery tone that looked out of place when his expression was almost a grimace, "How bad could travelling to a waterfall be?"

Saga flapped his wings and cooed in what seemed to be happiness. Then of course, Shou felt the need to lick the side of Saga's rather tiny peacock-head in affection. For some reason, this was more disturbing to Nao than anything else; Shou could have simply nuzzled him, after all.

Nao, feeling disgruntled once more, motioned for them all to resume walking.

\- - - - - - - - - - -

It seemed unusually quiet the closer they got to the edge of the valley; Nao figured it probably had something to do with the fact that beyond the thin veil of trees there was a road where cars sometimes passed. At least, he recalled one having been there years back when they'd come to have their pictures taken. It was hard to think about it, though, when he was so hungry—the fish had filled his seemingly-bottomless stomach only temporarily and once more, his companions were starting to look appetizing.

"I really do think it would be easier for you to walk if you had your tail fanned out," Shou told Saga matter-of-factly, "That way, it wouldn't be dragging on the ground. That's got to be pretty annoying."

"Well of course it is," Saga replied, "I mean, it's going to take a _lot_ to get all that dirt and grit out of my feathers."

"You're going to have to fan it out once we get there, you know," Hiroto said sounding a bit out of breath as he scurried beside Saga's long tail; it was hard for him to keep up when his legs were so much shorter than everyone else's.

"At this rate, we might have to get him to ride on your back," Tora said in a low voice, drawing Nao's attention away from the three travelling up front.

"I can only imagine the joke he'd make about _that_ ," Nao snorted.

"You're just in a bad mood," Tora said airily, "Because normally, you'd laugh."

"Well... yes," Nao admitted with a bit of difficultly. "Yes, you're right."

"I know you're worrying about how to get out of this," Tora said, in a serious tone, "But you know as well as the rest of us that the reason we're like this is a mystery so far, and that there's nothing we can really do at the moment besides stay alive."

"I _know_..." Nao grumbled.

"Well then, seriously, loosen up," Tora told him mischievously, nudging him in the shoulder. "This is a once-in-a-lifetime chance." He snorted. "I mean, I almost had myself a harem, for fuck's sake. A _harem_ , Nao."

"You don't already have one back home?" Nao asked, amused.

"Okay, well..." Tora trailed off with a sigh. "Yes, maybe. Sort of." He shook his head. "Look, that's not the point—the point is, we're on an adventure, and we should at least enjoy it for what it's worth."

"I just want to get to that waterfall, and then get on our way as quick as possible," Nao grumbled, already starting to regret agreeing to it.

Tora laughed. "If that's not—"

"Avast, scoundrels!"

Up ahead, Nao saw Saga snap abruptly towards the sudden sound of the voice in shock. Of course, since Hiroto had been behind him, he'd been sent tumbling by the force of Saga's feather train thwacking him square in the face. Almost immediately, Shou burst into catty laughter, and within seconds was rolling about on the grass, clutching his belly with his paws.

Nao glanced over at Tora, and then, as if on cue, they both started tittering. Nao pressed his lips together to try to keep from laughing outright when Hiroto staggered to his feet, and stumbled back over to them, looking dazed.

"Who's there?" Saga called out warily, not seeming to have noticed what he'd accidently done; it was a wonder he hadn't already asked Shou what was so funny.

"If you five wish to go any further, you will have to battle the top cock for permission," The voice called out importantly.

Out of the corner of his eyes, Nao saw Shou gasp and cry with uncontrollable laughter. He wasn't too far from a breakdown, himself.

"You'd be hard-pressed to find a tougher cock anywhere else on this island!" Another voice called out in a strong baritone.

"I can think of one or two," Tora muttered to Nao with a snicker.

"You wanna fight?" Saga called back, sounding resolute.

"We will have a fight between cocks!" The voice declared imperiously.

"...ohgodohgod make it _stop_!" Shou cackled, out of breath and crying with laughter.

"Wazza fuck's goin on...?" Hiroto muttered near Nao's front paws, shaking his head slowly and looking woozy.

"The fight between cocks shall be to the death!" The voice continued in the same important tone. "You shall stand erect and not position your head in the direction of your opponent until the cock overseeing the proceedings tells you that you may begin your assault."

Nao felt certain that Shou was on the verge of hyperventilation.

"If you wish to ask the top cock for mercy," Another added, sounding just as self-important, "You must do so before he decides to gouge out your insides."

"You will groan and beg for mercy, long before your ordeal is over!" The first voice assured Saga.

"This is too good!" Tora cackled, stamping one of his hooves into the ground with the force of his mirth.

"The cock wavers!" One of the voices declared smugly.

"A seed of doubt has been planted in his mind!" Another cried out in a pompous tone.

"Show yourselves!" Saga called out seriously, sounding unaffected by the barrage of horrid metaphors their mysterious aggressors were spewing forth.

Shou wheezed with laughter, presumably at Saga. "Oh, how brave!" He exclaimed in mock-awe, even clasping his paws together for dramatic effect, "How valiant!"

Nao was already laughing quite hard, but when the challengers stepped clear of the foliage and came into the valley, he lost it. For there, in an arrogant little line, stood five mangled-looking roosters. They all looked like they could use a bit of a hosing-off to get rid of all the dust covering their feathers, and the feathers themselves... well, they were sticking out every which-way. Even so, the roosters' stances seemed to say, _you wish you could be as fucking awesome as we are_.

"Chickens!" Shou exclaimed, teary-eyed and nearly hoarse with laughter at them. "Fucking _chickens_!"

"We are cocks," One of the roosters stated in a matter-of-fact tone, appearing unfazed.

"Yes, you fucking are, aren't you!" Shou howled with laughter, shaking his head and beating his paws against the ground.

"If I beat the top cock, will you let us pass?" Saga asked, sounding resolute and once again ignoring Shou, who seemed to be slowly dying with laughter just a little ways away from him.

The roosters all immediately began chuckling until the one standing in the middle glared at them and they immediately stopped.

" _If_ you beat me," The one who had glared at the rest said, "Then yes, you will be allowed to pass. But I don't intend to die today."

"Is he serious about it being a fight to the death?" Tora chuckled in an undertone.

"Damned if I know," Nao muttered back, trying to get a hold of himself. The idea of Saga participating in a fight to the death was not exactly an attractive one, and Nao felt it would be prudent to be ready to step in should things get ugly. He really had no desire to explain to their manager that their bassist had died in a cockfight while inhabiting the body of a peacock on the island of Hawaii, all while they were supposed to be practicing. He was quite certain he'd get fired, or put into an institution.

"This is your last chance, ruffian!" One of the roosters exclaimed. "The only way to ensure that you don't die is to abstain from facing the top cock!"

Nao snorted loudly into his paw, gritting his teeth to hold back his laughter. He was glad to hear Hiroto cackling gleefully at his feet.

"If you don't abstain, there is a chance—"

"No, there is _no doubt_ that you will die," another rooster cut in arrogantly.

Saga puffed out his chest and snorted derisively. "Yeah, like _that'll_ happen."

Shou was clutching his belly and laughing so much there was no longer any sound coming out of his mouth. With his eyes squeezed shut, he looked almost as though he was in pain, though this clearly wasn't the case.

"Then do you accept the challenge?"

The one that spoke was the one in the middle, and slightly larger than the other four; Nao could only assume it was the rooster the others had repeatedly referred to as the "top cock".

"Fuck _yeah_ , I accept!" Saga declared, sounding unusually aggressive and pompous.

"Well then, prepare yourself—we will return."

Without another word, the roosters walked back into the forest, leaving the five men-turned-animals standing there either bewildered or bemused. Off to the side, Shou was trying his best to get up on shaky legs and go over to Saga.

"Saga-kun, get your ass over here!" Nao called out after a moment, deciding it was time he take charge of the situation. He still wasn't entirely certain whether Saga had merely been mocking the roosters or whether he had been serious. From the way he strutted over, though...

"You're not going ahead with this fight," Nao told Saga bluntly, when he was close enough.

"Well of _course_ he isn't!" Shou exclaimed, sitting beside Saga and looking like he was about to laugh again. "He's just being cute."

"Right," Nao commented dryly, wishing he had an eyebrow to raise at Shou.

"I mean, I know it's just a rooster," Shou snorted, "But _this guy_? In a fight?" He rubbed up against Saga's neck affectionately. "No offence, babe."

"I was being serious," Saga said, looking quite cocky as he puffed out his chest again and raised his beak slightly. "I'm going to beat that rooster and we're all going to get our freak on at the peafowl mating dance."

"Get our _what_ on?" Hiroto asked, laughing.

"Tell me you're joking," Shou pleaded, still trying not to laugh.

Saga unfurled his wings and held them out, startling Shou who almost got one in the face. "I've got front row tickets to the gun show and you're all invited."

"Tell me he did not just say that," Nao grumbled flatly after a moment of stunned silence.

"I don't know whether to laugh or to cry," Shou said, looking bemused.

"Hey, Scoundrel!"

They all turned to look at the roosters who were making their way back into the valley; one of the subordinates was holding on to some sort of weird-looking ball of leaves. Once they were at an appropriate distance, they stopped and were silent.

"Are you ready?" Shou called out in askance after the silence had gone on long enough.

" _I'm_ sure as hell ready," Saga said coolly, surveying the roosters. "Doesn't seem like they are, though."

"I am prepared," The so-called top cock replied just as coolly, motioning to the one holding the strange ball of leaves with his wing. Nao was more than a little bemused when he realized the ball of leaves was in fact a helmet of some kind; the subordinate rooster fastened it to his leader's head. It even had holes for his comb.

"What's _that_?" Saga asked derisively.

"Protection," The rooster replied stonily. "Fit specially for a fighting cock."

At this, Shou was besieged by another fit of laughter. "Oh—oh god," He wheezed with mirth and mockery, "Saga, I'm so sorry! I left your specially-made 'fighting cock' protection in my bag at the studio!"

Nao was startled out of laughing when Tora whinnied loudly in amusement and beat his front hooves against the ground. Tora seemed at once sheepish and amused at his own outburst.

"I'll be fine without it," Saga said, sounding a bit disapproving of the joke.

"Don't catch anything!" Hiroto called out as loud as he could before he began sniggering uncontrollably at Nao's feet.

"How about this?" Nao asked, not sure whether to be amused or worried, "Don't fucking die."

"They're _chickens_ ," Saga laughed haughtily, "How vicious could they possibly be?"

\- - - - - - - - - - -

Not only did Nao feel content, he felt... justified. He was feeling quite mellow, now that he was once again full, and the fact that he'd managed to let out a bit of aggression was certainly a bonus. He scratched lazily at some raw meat stuck between his teeth.

It hadn't really come as a surprise to any of them that Saga had immediately run to hide behind Shou as soon as the rooster he had agreed to fight had charged at him. Hiroto had of course made a joke about Saga pulling out too soon, Shou had repeated the fact that the rooster was 'coming' until they were all cramped with laughter and Nao, to avoid a potentially sticky situation had dashed in at the last second to snatch the charging rooster up and snap his neck. He realized it had been rather unfair of him (and the subordinate roosters cawed out this very fact angrily before running off) but he had had no intention of allowing any of the others to be put into harm's way for no reason. And of course... he'd been a bit peckish.

He tossed a bone over his shoulder nonchalantly and then noticed Shou who was sitting and staring at him intently, his tail lashing slowly from side to side. Nao sighed.

" _Fine_..." He said, pushing the rooster's carcass towards Shou, "Have what's left."

"Thanks," Shou said with a catty grin, slinking closer.

"But just... make sure you leave some for Saga-kun," Nao said, a bit concerned. "He looks like he's going to be sick."

"That man is going to be _fine_ ," Shou said fondly, waving him off. "He's just in shock, but he'll forget all about that once we get walking again."

"Well hurry up and eat, then," Nao said, falling back against the ground to expose his belly to the sky. Now that the sun had begun going down, it was getting cooler and wonderfully comfortable with that breeze (presumably from the ocean) still blowing. He felt certain that he could easily fall asleep in the grass and get a good night's rest; it would certainly be nice to lay there for the evening and stare up at the cosmos. He closed his eyes and tuned out all the chatter from his companions for a few long minutes.

" _Nao_!"

He jerked awake, snorting in surprise. When he looked up, he noticed three of them were staring down at him in bemusement. He realized belatedly that it had been Tora who had called his name earlier.

"What is it?" He asked them groggily, scratching absently at his rather wide belly.

"You've been asleep for half an hour," Shou informed him flatly; and that was when he realized it was indeed dark.

"I convinced them you'd be less of a grump if we let you sleep," Tora explained with a toothy grin (Nao assumed it was a grin anyway; his horse features made it look more like a grimace).

"Well... thanks," Nao said a bit lamely.

"It's time to go now, though," Tora said, giving him a nudge with his hoof.

"Yeah," Hiroto snorted (he had had the gall to sit on his chest). "Saga-kun has been practically _whining_ for the past twenty minutes that if we don't hurry, the peacocks will have finished their little shindig."

"God forbid _that_ should happen..." Nao grumbled, starting to sit up (Hiroto tumbled off of his chest and onto the ground ungracefully).

"Saga went all the way to the edge of the trees earlier and told us he could hear the waterfall from there," Shou told him, "So it really mustn't be that far of a walk from here. Then, we should be able to find a place to stay for the night."

"The peacocks—"

"It's pea _fowl_ ," Shou corrected him in an intentionally obnoxious tone before chuckling. "Saga got all twitchy earlier when I said the same thing."

"Peafowl then, whatever," Tora snorted with amusement, "They might be able to tell us where we'd be able to stay for the night."

"Yeah, yeah..." Nao sighed, getting to his feet; he looked down at Hiroto. "Sorry, by the way."

"It's all good," Hiroto assured him airily, brushing himself off.

As usual, there was an abundance of chatter along the way, and as usual, Nao tuned most of it out as best he could without headphones. It didn't take very long, though, before Nao could finally hear the sound of a waterfall up ahead, and he was relieved to know that the walk really would be as short as he had been led to believe.

"Personally, I think this is going to be pretty funny to watch," Tora told him in an undertone; as usual, they had taken up the rear of the party formation and had both mostly remained silent and introspective.

"A thousand yen says Saga-kun is going to make an ass of himself," Nao muttered back mischievously.

"As if you think I'd bet _against_ that happening!" Tora exclaimed, laughing. That drew the attention of the others, who looked back in confusion for a moment and then turned back to their own conversation.

"I wonder what all the peahens are going to think when they find out he's a butt pirate," Nao said matter-of-factly.

Tora snorted. "He probably won't tell them. You know him."

"I certainly do," Nao replied wryly, but not without amusement.

"You made it!" A female voice suddenly exclaimed excitedly.

"You should have warned us about those roosters," Nao said disapprovingly, wondering if it was customary for animals to get into conversations without revealing themselves.

"Them?" The voice laughed girlishly, "Oh, why they're harmless! They're just a bunch of sad males who overcompensate in projected masculinity and aggression for the fact that their mothers and mates push them around." She finally strutted out of the trees, ruffling her wings in what must have been a flirty gesture directed at Saga. "It's the _hens_ that call all the shots in reality. Those roosters are just insecure."

"Good to know," Nao said reluctantly, wishing he hadn't bothered bringing up the subject in the first place.

"Now then, are you all going to join us?" She asked pleasantly. "Normally we don't allow those who aren't peafowl to join in the merriment, but I think we can make an exception this time."

"Good, because I'm not going without my mate," Saga said decisively.

"You have a mate?" She asked, not seeming disappointed in the least. "Do you swing?"

"Swing?" Saga asked, a bit taken aback.

"You know, switch—"

"I know what it means," Saga insisted, cutting her off, "I just—no, we are _not_ swingers."

"You will be tonight!" She giggled, and immediately dashed back into the trees the way she came, leaving all five of them a bit stunned. Hiroto broke the silence by laughing.

"I can't even describe how weirded-out I am right now," Nao said faintly.

"Let's just get this over with," Shou said, looking more amused than anything else. "Sa—" He stopped short, bewildered. "Saga?"

Tora's ears twitched. "I think I can hear him waddling through the trees."

"Why that little—" Shou shook his head, laughing in exasperation. "He could have at least said something!"

"Come on, let's go after him..." Nao sighed, feeling quite tired all over again.

"You're such a trooper," Tora teased, nudging him in the shoulder.

And so, they tried their best to find the path Saga had taken through the trees (Nao, for the most part, followed his nose) and relied on their ears to guide them towards the waterfall. It was almost completely dark, after all, and the moon wasn't exactly the best source of light.

The sight that met them when they cleared the trees was a bit overwhelming: not only were there peafowl everywhere, but they were dancing and squawking unattractively. The waterfall was quite nice, though.

"Saga!" Shou called out. "Sa—"

"I'm over here!"

His response, of course, was not much help at all.

"Baby, come _on_ , don't make me track you down by scent alone!" Shou called out, sounding exasperated.

After a moment, a peacock closer to the edge of the water turned and headed directly for them. Most of the peahens (and quite a few of the peacocks) turned to watch him strut his way across the clearing. His display seemed to be captivating enough that much of the conversation being carried out within his vicinity actually died down. And then, Saga did something quite unexpected: he fanned out his tail abruptly, making quite a few of the nearby peafowl jump in surprise (and arousal, too, Nao was certain).

"Eat your hearts out, ladies!" Shou called out gleefully, apparently enjoying the moment a great deal. "That sexy peacock is already taken!"

And of course at this, Saga puffed out his chest even more, which Nao hadn't think was possible. He resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

"He's going to be _impossible_ later on," Tora remarked, sounding amused anyway.

"It'll be Shou-kun's fault for encouraging it," Nao muttered grumpily, "They are—hands down—the most annoying couple I've ever met."

"Agreed," Tora chuckled in an undertone.

Saga was getting all sorts of calls and attention from all sides, and although he took it in stride and was clearly flattered, it didn't deter him from his path. The closer he got, the better Nao could see how enormous his tail was when fanned out, and how the feathers shone and sparkled in the moonlight. If he weren't so disgusted with the vain display, he might have found it rather impressive. Saga turned slightly when he was close enough and headed for Shou.

"You look _so_ amazing right now," Shou told him, sounding rather giddy.

"I do, don't I?" Saga asked in a similar tone.

Nao wondered just how the bassist-turned-peacock could go from sex symbol to dork in less than twenty seconds. It was just one of his many, strange talents, he supposed.

"Are we done now?" Nao called out dryly, trying to get Saga's attention. He was more than ready to find a place to continue the nap he had started earlier; they'd been walking in the heat all day, and though he was no longer hungry, tiredness was beginning to get the better of him.

Nao didn't receive an answer, though, because as soon as Saga turned to speak, he was blinded suddenly by the moon reflecting off of the bassist's tail feathers, and fell back in shock.


	5. Chapter 5

Nao shook his head, disoriented, and sat only to feel the ground begin to crumble underneath him. He jumped up in shock and looked around. He did a double-take.

He was on a beach and it was daytime; in front of him, waves from the ocean licked the dry sand and overhead the sun was beating upon his back. A cool breeze blew in from over the water, tickling his fur. When he looked, in a daze, off to either side he could see some of the others slowly getting to their feet; they'd all been separated. The sand was soft and hot under his paws.

"Guys?" He called out, feeling exhausted; he just wanted to get the frustrating question of where they were out of the way and then find a place to sleep, regardless of the fact that it appeared to only be midday. No one answered him, but they did begin making their way over; Hiroto had been hard to spot at first since he was so small and far away.

Suddenly remembering something he'd often done as a child, Nao began digging in the sand until he'd unearthed the darker, colder layer of sand underneath the dry top half. He cleared himself a sort of square and then, with relief, sat down. It was a lot nicer on his paws than the top layer had been.

"Well," Tora sighed when he was close enough, "Can't say this was unexpected."

"I don't even have the energy to be angry about it," Nao admitted, rubbing at his eyes with his paws. He stopped when he realized that if he wasn't careful, he'd get sand in them.

"Five minutes?" Saga squawked indignantly, "I was just getting warmed up! They _loved_ me!"

"Whoa there, Saga-kun," Hiroto snickered, "Take a chill pill."

"It's not fair..." Saga grumbled, scratching at the sand with his bird claws. "I totally had that crowd..."

"Just look at how fast Shou-kun is running over here," Hiroto remarked with a chuckle, probably trying to distract them all from Saga's grumbling.

"It's not like we have anywhere to be," Nao commented wryly. "There's no need for him to run in this heat."

"He's probably worried about Saga-kun, here," Tora snickered, "They've been apart for a few minutes, and he's heartsick."

"Don't be such a douchebag," Saga said dryly, apparently not as consumed with regret as they'd thought.

Hiroto immediately began laughing and Tora gave Saga an amused look (though it wasn't at all apologetic) just as Shou was reaching them.

"I know where we are!" He called out, "I know where we are!"

"And?" Nao asked flatly, "It's nothing to get excited about unless you know how we can change back."

"We're in Japan!" Shou exclaimed, frantic with excitement and ignoring Nao's very realistic remark. "There's a sign over there and I could read it and it said where the nearest town is!"

"Are you serious?" Tora asked, starting to look a bit excited, himself, despite his earlier comment.

"Yes!" Shou told him, looking almost exasperated, "Why would I say it if I wasn't serious?"

"I hate to be the voice of reason," Nao said, "But honestly, being here is useless if we're still animals."

"Oh boy," Saga groaned, "He's entered pessimist-mode."

"We have to get him drunk as soon as possible or we'll never hear the end of it," Hiroto added wryly.

"What way is it?" Tora asked Shou, ignoring the others.

"There's a road over there—from what I read, this is some sort of peninsula, so this beach is a dead end," Shou explained, slowly catching his breath; his tail swung lazily from side to side. "I really have no idea where we are, just that the sign is in Japanese, so hopefully there will be more signs along the way that'll give us a clue."

"Look, I think the best thing to do is get some rest," Nao told them soberly, "There's no way exhausting ourselves is going to help at all."

"Yes, but the sooner we head out, the sooner we can make it to civilization," Tora protested. " _Think_ about how good it would be to finally sleep in a bed again!"

"And how to do you suggest we find ourselves a bed for the night when we're animals?" Nao asked him pointedly. "You think whoever lives in the town is going to say _sure, let's let these filthy animals stay in one of our hotel rooms for the night for free_?"

"Well, when you put it that way..." Tora trailed off awkwardly.

"No—we need rest, and we need to think about how we're going to go about changing back into humans," Nao said in a decisive tone, stamping his paw into the rapidly-warming sand. " _Then_ , when we do, we can go into town and get on the phone with our manager, make up some bullshit excuse about us having wanted to take a quick vacation and get our asses on a plane back to Tokyo."

"This is why he's the leader," Hiroto muttered to Saga in a matter-of-fact tone. Saga nodded in agreement.

Shou sighed, sitting down on the sand (for some reason, the heat didn't seem to bother him all that much). "Yeah, makes sense, Nao-kun," He said. "I guess I was just... too excited."

"Let's start by looking for a place to sleep," Nao said calmly, "And then when we wake up, we'll be better able to think about the problem."

"Alright then," Shou said, nodding and standing back up, "Let's get on with it. The quicker we find a place sleep the better."

"I'd kind of rather just stay here and play on the beach, to be honest," Hiroto said, tail twitching.

"Yes well..." Nao trailed off, unimpressed. "That's you."

"There will be time for that when we're human again," Tora told Hiroto, and Nao was glad he was being backed up by at least one of them.

"Alright," Hiroto huffed. "Whatever. You guys are boring."

"Us?" Tora snorted with amusement, "I beg to differ."

Shou let out an abrupt laugh. "You sound like my mother!"

\- - - - - - - - - - -

"What about up there?" Saga asked, extending one of his wings to point.

"That's much too high to climb," Nao said, dismissing the idea with a shake of his head.

"I'm hungry," Hiroto said from atop Nao's back (after a bit of an argument, Hiroto had agreed it would indeed be faster if he sat there instead of slowing them all down by walking).

"We all are," Nao replied flatly.

"Not me," Tora said airily.

"Yes well you've been nibbling grass along the way, haven't you?" Nao snapped. Realizing he'd been quite harsh, he took a deep breath. "I'm sorry," he apologized in a carefully controlled tone. "I'm just hungry."

"I know, don't worry about it," Tora replied easily.

"I could really go for—"

"Run!" Someone suddenly shouted in terror, "Oh for the love of all that is good in this world, _run_!"

Everyone stood in shock as two cats that looked just like Shou bolted past them.

"Save yourself!" They both yelled as they bounded away, "Go! They're coming!" The five bandmen-turned-animals were left staring at the cats' retreating backs in confusion and alarm.

"What in the world..." Nao trailed off, sounding dazed.

"I wonder what they were running from," Tora muttered.

"Guys?" Hiroto asked, sounding distracted.

"They didn't seem intimidated by me," Nao said tonelessly, "So I'm not sure that's a very good sign."

"Guys?" Hiroto asked again, a bit more insistent.

"We must be on the island of Iriomote," Shou commented faintly. "I mean, they were Iriomote cats, I'm sure of it."

"Guys!" Hiroto exclaimed, and Nao felt Hiroto's little paws beating insistently on his back. " _Turn around_!"

"Alright, alright," Nao huffed in annoyance, "Godda—"

Nao fell silent in shock when he finally took notice of what Hiroto had been trying to point out: there had to be about fifty cats charging straight at them. Not only that, they appeared to once again be Iriomote cats, the species Shou had told them he'd turned into. Nao was snapped out of his daze when he heard Saga squawking and beating his wings frantically off to the side; out of the corner of his eye, he thought he could see Saga running about in circles like a chicken with its head cut off.

"Saga, calm down!" He heard Shou exclaim, "Calm _down_!"

Nao steeled himself, trying not to let any of his anxiousness at the sight of all those wildcats heading towards them show in his expression. He was supposed to be the one warding off trouble, after all; it wouldn't do for him to allow the others to think he was worried.

"Two males!" One of the foremost cats called out urgently, "There were two males that passed this way! Did you see them?"

Nao wondered just what he should answer: the Iriomote cats were almost upon them and he had no idea why they wanted the two that had run by in a frenzy earlier. He wasn't sure which group to side with. Before he could make a decision, though, the cats were surrounding them, the ground thrumming lightly with their collective footfalls.

"Where are they?" The same cat demanded, "Where are—"

Suddenly she stopped short, noticing Shou. A slow, feral smile spread across her features and she seemed to glance at the cats waiting nearest her. Nao didn't like the way they adopted similar, predatory expressions.

"Well, well," She drawled in satisfaction, "What do we have here..."

Shou's tail lashed slowly from side to side, and Nao couldn't imagine the action was out of anything other than apprehension.

"Have any of you ladies seen this male before?" The wildcat asked the others, looking a little _too_ interested in Shou for Nao's liking. "I've never seen anyone with these markings."

The other cats murmured their agreement, but then one voice could be heard above the rest.

"Run!" It shouted, " _Run_ , for the love of—"

"Now, now," A female cat said in a dangerously pleasant tone, cutting the voice off (Nao realized belatedly it had been masculine), "There's no need for that." Nao spotted the cat that had been speaking when she patted the cat beside her on the head in what could only be seen as a gesture of dominance. "There's a good boy."

"You be quiet, now," A cat on the other side of him said, patting his back a little harder than was probably necessary. "Whooza a good boy?" She cooed, clapping her paws together. "You're a good boy!"

"What do you think, ladies?" The cat who had spoken first asked, not seeming to notice what had just gone on. "Should we take him?"

"Take me?" Shou sputtered immediately, as though only just processing what he'd seen. "What're you—"

"Oh, look, how cute," The cat cooed, cutting him off. "He's confused."

"How sweet..." Another one cooed in a tone that was anything but.

Nao saw Shou's ears start to pin back in what he assumed was irritation.

"Who are you?" Nao asked in a hard tone, hoping he sounded far more threatening than he felt; it was high time he take control of the situation and send the strange cats on their way.

"We are the cats of Iriomote, and you are trespassing upon our land," The cat who had been doing all the talking until then replied in an eerily pleasant tone. Nao could only assume she was the leader. "I don't think you understand what that means, beast."

"I'm not a beast," Nao snapped in annoyance.

"You are large and hairy, are you not?" She asked pointedly. Nao said nothing. "You are a beast," She reiterated pleasantly.

"Fine, whatever you like," Nao agreed impatiently. "Now tell me: why are you interested in my friend, here?"

All at once, there was a chorus of catty laughter, some of them even put their paws over their mouths girlishly. It went _ohohohohoho_ and made Nao's ears ring; he could see the male who had spoken up earlier cringing and pinning his ears back.

"Answer me!" Nao demanded in a roar, hungry and no longer in any mood to beat around the bush. The laughter stopped immediately and while some of the cats appeared cowed by his sudden outburst, a great deal more seemed unimpressed.

"Ours is an endangered species," The lead cat explained in a soft, faintly dangerous tone, her tail flicking to and fro. "Once we had to worry about hunters, but now it is the scarcity of food we worry about, and the dwindling area of our territories all over the island." She paused, licking her paw as if to show how unimportant she found the business of informing Nao to be. "Males are simple." She gave him a bit of a smirk, her whiskers twitching. "Unfortunately, they do not always know what is best for themselves, and as a result, in the past, most of them have been reckless and died before they could sire cubs."

Nao didn't like where she was taking the conversation. Not one bit.

"As a result, we have an overpopulation of sensible, fertile females," She said matter-of-factly, "And only a few males." She gave Shou another predatory look. "They are not very responsible, and often run when they get the chance—"

"Yes, because we're your sl—"

"Quiet, now, mustn't interrupt a lady when she's speaking!" A cat snapped in a sickeningly sweet tone, cutting off the male that had spoken. He was once again coddled and cooed at by the surrounding females like an overgrown cub, leaving Nao feeling disturbed.

"As I was saying," The leader continued smoothly, "We spend a fair amount of time trying to find those silly males so that we can bring them back where it's safe."

Nao looked at the male who continually tried to speak up only to see him staring back with wide, insistent eyes, as though he were trying to convey something.

"They're just _ever_ so naughty," She giggled, bopping Shou on the nose in a very twisted, playful gesture. Shou backed up, his hackles raised.

"So you basically want to whore him out, is that it?" Hiroto asked easily, as though he were just inquiring about the time of day.

The cat tsked, sitting and curling her tail daintily about her forepaws. " _Whore_ is such an... ugly word," She said, sounding put-out. "Our males do their part to continue the survival of our species."

"So I guess they're all allowed to mate with dozens of you?" Hiroto asked casually; Nao was too shocked that he was encouraging the cat to do anything other than sit and try to form a rebuke.

"Repopulating the island is not a choice, little one," The cat replied slyly.

"You want me to—" Shou huffed and backed up against Nao's forepaws in shock and horror. "To—"

"No," Saga told the cat, extending one of his wings for emphasis and shaking his beak firmly. " _No_."

"Awww," The cat cooed, tail lashing with amusement, "He thinks he has a choice in the matter..."

Saga backed up against Nao's forepaws as well, suddenly not seeming so sure of himself. Nao, his hackles raised, moved his paws aside and nudged Shou and Saga against his chest. As big and strong as he was compared to just one of the cats, there had to be atleast fifty surrounding them and he wasn't sure he could take them all if they decided to attack. At least if they were all together it would be easier to fight the cats off. He tried to tell himself this, anyway.

"I don't think you understood me the first time," The lead cat said calmly after a moment. "That male you are protecting is one of us. He is a male, and thus, our property. He is a precious resource."

"A resource?" Shou exclaimed angrily and starting to get up. "A _resource_?"

Nao held Shou back with a paw, not taking his eyes off the cat. "He's not from here, so no, he's not your property," Nao said calmly, reminding himself that getting incensed would only make things worse. "He also has no interest in mating with any of you, and even if he did, he wouldn't be able to, because he has severe performance issues."

"That's right, I—Wait, _performance_ issues?" Shou exclaimed angrily, once he realized what Nao had actually said, "I don't have—"

"Yes, exactly, he does!" Saga exclaimed even louder, drowning out Shou's protest. "He refuses to bite!"

Nao was confused when a great deal of the cats appeared shocked and even disgusted by this. Saga took a deep gulp of air, frantically trying to explain. "It's true!" He exclaimed, "I've seen him and he doesn't bite!"

The cats appeared disturbed, but the leader quickly regained her composure. "We will make him," She said primly. "A male not biting is unheard of."

"Oh, b—but that's not the only problem!" Saga insisted, tripping over his words in his haste to change their minds. "He also has no barbs!"

At this, the lead cat really did look taken aback.

"There are no barbs on his penis?" The cat asked faintly in disbelief; they all stared at Shou as though he had ten heads. Nao felt completely lost.

"There are none," Saga insisted, waving one of his wings for emphasis. " _None_."

Then, suddenly, the cat seemed to get an idea. "You're lying," She said, her predatory look back.

"Why would I lie about something so horrible?" Saga asked, sounding a lot bolder than he had before. He puffed out his chest and then began fanning out his feathers, which cleverly enough, shielded Shou from most of the cats' scrutinizing eyes.

"Because, you're trying to prevent us from acquiring a perfectly healthy male," The cat replied pleasantly. "How would _you_ know if he has barbs or not?"

"Because I've seen his penis, and there are none," Saga said smugly. "I'm his mate. I would be the first to know."

Absently, Nao considered that this was perhaps the most strange, awkward conversation he'd ever had the displeasure to be a part of.

"A bird?" The cat laughed, "Oh, that's perfectly hilarious!"

"And not only that, I'm a male," Saga said, sounding triumphant, "That's right—he's only attracted to males, so—"

Here, all the cats started laughing, some even rolling about on the ground; Nao could see them over Saga's tail feathers.

The lead cat tried to talk despite the mirth overtaking her. "Well we knew _that_!" She laughed. "All males in our species are attracted to other males; they go to eachother for comfort and affection!"

Nao felt a headache coming on.

"No, you still don't seem to understand," She said, sounding highly amused. "We are not interested in companionship with males, they are for breeding with. It is for the continuation of our species and they do it because they must."

Shou parted some of Saga's tail feathers so he could see the cat speaking. "So you're telling me," He said sounding disbelieving, "That you're all gay. All of you."

"I'm not certain I understand what you mean by asking if we are all happy," She said, before looking over at Nao. "You see?" She asked him, shooting Shou a look of pity. "Males are so simple, they don't even have a proper command of vocabulary and don't possess the capability to understand good timing for employing it."

"Oh for fuck's sake," Shou grumbled under his breath before he raised his voice. "Do the females always have female companions and the males always have male companions?"

"Yes, I just told you that," She replied, looking unimpressed at his question. She looked back over at Nao. "They're not very good listeners, either." For a moment, there was silence.

"He's messy and irresponsible and will constantly run away even if you try to keep an eye on him at all times," Saga told her, clearly trying to dissuade the cats from wanting to take Shou. "Honestly, he's a nightmare, and you'd be lucky to steer clear of him." Saga paused. "I'm just with him because he's good for keeping predators away, but that's about it—I'm pretty sure you females can take care of yourselves."

"He's more trouble than he's worth," Nao agreed, hoping the idea of painting Shou in such a bad light would work (he certainly wasn't looking too pleased about it).

"He talks in his sleep," Tora added matter-of-factly.

"He eats way more than he needs to," Hiroto said in a similar tone. "You guys want to have food around to feed your cubs with? Forget it. This bastard of a cat will eat it all."

"Honestly, we'd kind of like to get rid of him ourselves," Saga said airily, "But he's my mate, and their friend so what can we do?"

"You seem like reasonable, rational cats," Nao said, before the lead cat could respond, "And after having talked at length with you, I feel I understand better, why you wanted to take him in the first place. However, now that I know you, I feel it would be extremely rude of us to pawn him off on you when we know very well he's about as smart as a frog that hops right into your paws," Nao paused when all the cats murmured in agreement, some of them chuckling at the analogy, "And," Nao continued, " _especially_ when we are aware of his anatomical... deficiencies."

Nao could feel Shou's tail thumping angrily against his paws, and resisted the urge to laugh.

"Nice one, Nao-san," Hiroto whispered appreciatively in his ear. Nao would have liked to thank him for the encouragement, but had not finished his spiel.

"So," Nao concluded, "In an effort to save you all trouble you clearly don't deserve, we will take this defective male off of your paws and save you _years_ of frustration."

"If he's so defective, then, why would you want to keep him?" The cats' leader asked, her tone suspicious.

"Because the bird is a masochist," Tora piped up smoothly before anyone else could reply. "The fact that there's no biting frustrates and arouses him."

"Ah..." The cat's leader trailed off, nodding as though she finally understood. "Yes, that does make sense."

Nao wondered if Tora was as lost as he was about the whole biting-thing and why it was so important to the cats. He supposed it didn't matter much as long as it worked and they could get all the cats to leave them so they could get as far away as possible. The idea that there could be more of them somewhere was a very unpleasant one. He realized no one was talking.

"Those males you were looking for earlier, by the way," Nao said casually, "Ran directly past us and disappeared into the trees. We barely caught a glimpse of them. You must have really been making them nervous."

"We have our ways..." She trailed off with a wide, catty grin; other cats grinned along with her. It was more threatening than humorous.

"Yes, well..." Nao said, trying to maintain his composure at seeing the sea of teeth. "You'd all best hurry or you'll lose them completely. We've already fought over this defective male for long enough, don't you think?"

The leader considered him a moment. "I do believe you're correct. We should be on our way."

"And we should be on ours," Nao said neutrally.

"Very well, then," The cats' leader said with a sharp nod. "We shall leave you and your companions to your own devices, beast."

Nao nodded back, but said nothing. He sat stoically, watching the cats slowly move past them and start into a run, not daring to move or breathe a sigh of relief until they were well into the distance.

"Well, that was interesting," Tora commented wryly after most of them had disappeared into the trees Nao had pointed them in the direction of.

"At least we found out why Shou-kun turned into a cat instead of a rabbit," Hiroto said, sounding a lot more amused than Nao felt.

"I just assumed it was because he no longer had those big front teeth," Tora remarked starting to walk in the opposite direction the troupe of Iriomote cats had gone, towards the short man-made tunnel that would take them to the other side of the mountain ahead.

"The _entire_ species is gay," Hiroto laughed, "I mean, who would have thought? It's just perfect."

"The only way _that_ would make sense is if I'd turned into a gay animal as well," Saga said with a snort of derision, shaking his tail back into place (it was too cumbersome to walk around with it fanned out all the time).

"Saga, you're a peacock," Shou said flatly, making everyone laugh.

"Peacocks aren't gay," Saga scoffed.

"Yeah, because there certainly weren't peacocks checking you out back in Hawaii," Hiroto chuckled, and Nao could feel the guitarist making himself comfortable up on his back.

"They might not be full-blown gay like these Iriomote cats," Tora said matter-of-factly, "But they were at least bi-curious, if not completely bisexual."

"I agree," Nao said, trying not to laugh at the memory; it was all suddenly funny.

"You know what I want to know, though?" Hiroto aswked rhetorically. "What was with all that crap about biting and barbed penises you were spouting earlier, Saga-kun?"

"Ask Shou," Saga said, sounding a bit uncomfortable. " _He's_ the expert."

"If I didn't find the fact that you actually _remembered_ all that stuff so funny," Shou laughed, "I'd still be mad at you for saying all that shit about me."

"It's not like I meant it," Saga sighed in exasperation, "I just didn't want that batshit crazy cat taking you away."

"She was like a super-feminist lesbian," Tora chuckled with amusement.

"Shou-kun, you going to answer my question, or what?" Hiroto asked impatiently.

"Oh, basically I explained the feline mating process to Saga one time," Shou said matter-of-factly. "We were really bored, he was a little drunk so he didn't think to ask me to stop, and I told him all about it."

They all waited for a moment. "Are you going to continue?" Hiroto asked, sounding bemused.

"Oh, yes, right," Shou said, seeming a bit distracted. "You can probably guess most of it, but what Saga was referring to was the fact that male cats always bite down on the back of the female's neck—experts disagree on what the purpose of doing that is—and the fact that male cats have barbed penises."

"Tell me you're making that up," Nao said flatly, unable to believe what he'd just heard.

"I'm really not," Shou said earnestly. "The extra friction is thought to make the female ovulate, so Saga was smart to tell them I didn't have any, because that would essentially make me useless to mate with."

"I know we sometimes joke that you're not the sharpest tool in the shed," Nao said, looking over at Saga, "But... goddamn," He shook his head appreciatively. "That was some quick thinking."

"And completely fucking horrifying," Tora added with disgust. "I can't even _process_ the idea of having a barbed dick."

"I think it would be _bad_ ass," Hiroto insisted with a chuckle; Nao could hear the grin in his voice without having to see it.

"Yeah, but think about how uncomfortable jerking off would be," Shou said matter-of-factly.

"So?" Hiroto asked, snorting in amusement, "My dick would be a weapon. If that's not fucking badass, I don't know what is."

"No, it's not quite like—"

"Don't ruin this for me, Shou-kun," Hiroto cut him off, "Let me keep my fantasies."

"Why?" Tora asked, laughing, "Because they're all you have now?"

"They're more than you have, hot shot," Hiroto chuckled smugly.

Everyone was laughing by the time they had arrived at the tunnel that would take them to the other side of the mountain but once they saw how dark it looked inside, they quieted and slowed to a stop. They all sort of stood and stared at the speck of light in the distance, and Nao wondered how long it would really take to walk all the way to the other side, and whether there would be a place to rest once they made it.

"Come on," He said, figuring if he didn't set the pace, nothing would get done, "Let's get going. The faster we cross, the faster we can rest and find something to eat."

"I still think we should have gone up the mountain..." Shou trailed off, a bit doubtfully.

"No, this will be faster," Nao insisted, waving him off with a paw. "Now come on, all of you."

And they started their trek through the long, dark tunnel.


	6. Chapter 6

"It feels like we should be on the other side already, don't you think?" Tora asked Nao quietly so the others wouldn't hear (they were of course discussing something loudly up front).

"I agree," Nao replied sombrely. "I could definitely see light in the distance when we first started walking through here, but now there's nothing ahead."

"Same here," Tora said darkly, hooves clopping against the pavement of the road running through the tunnel. "There haven't been any cars, either, even though this seems to be a main road."

"Not even a whisper," Nao agreed in a murmur.

All was dark and quiet in the tunnel; there weren't even any lights on its ceiling. It was probably assumed that anyone passing through would have on headlights. Nao of course had no way to tell how long they had been walking through the dark, but it had felt like much longer than he'd anticipated it would take when looking at it from the outside. There no longer seemed to be any end to it, and even when he had looked back minutes earlier, he hadn't been able to see anything of the end they had come from. It was just blackness.

"I don't like this," Tora told him told him in a quiet, frank tone.

"Scared of the dark?" Nao asked, teasing to keep the mood light.

Tora snorted. "Yeah, right."

"I'm sure we must be close," Nao said easily, "There's probably just a bend in the tunnel up ahead and then we'll finally see daylight again."

Tora grunted something unintelligible and they fell silent so that, besides the chatter up ahead, the sound of hooves was the only thing that echoed against the walls. At least, Nao thought, it was getting cooler.

"...kind of chilly," He heard Saga remark from up front. "Is it just—"

"No, no," Shou said, sounding a bit surprised, "I feel it too—like a cold wind, or something."

"Funny," Saga said curiously, "It was so hot outside before..."

"This is the first time I've felt comfortable since we left the woods," Hiroto commented matter-of-factly, "It's been hell having the sun beat down on my dark fur this whole time."

"Well, I guess that makes sense," Saga conceded.

"Plus, it's been hard to find things to eat," Hiroto continued, "I haven't seen a single peanut or acorn since we left that forest... when was it? A day ago?"

"Beats me," Shou snorted, "We keep ending up in different places at the drop of a hat, so it's kind of hard to keep track of time, isn't it?"

"I'm sure we'll get the hang of it," Saga said flatly, though he didn't seem to think much of the idea.

"We'll find our way home, baby, don't worry about it," Shou told him easily, and at once, Nao wished he could believe the assurance. But thus far, he'd been unable to see any sort of rhyme or reason to the way they'd been popping in and out of places, or for why they had woken up as animals in the first place. He had no logic to explain what was happening, and no explanation for how it could be a trick of his mind when it felt so _real_. Worse, a part of him was starting to actually enjoy the strange adventure, the flight of fancy he felt he wouldn't have been able to imagine even in his wildest daydreams. A part of him—a small part of him—didn't want it to end.

"It's true, it does feel colder," Tora murmured beside him.

"Probably just because we're under a mountain, in the dark," Nao replied, unperturbed.

"No, it really feels like—"

"Light!" Shou called out excitedly, "Light up ahead!"

" _Finally_..." Nao muttered.

"How much farther?" Tora called out; it took a moment before there was a reply.

"I'd say... a few minutes of walking," Shou called back; Nao was a bit confused, because he still couldn't see much of anything at all.

"I'm going ahead!" Nao heard Hiroto holler to them all before taking off; it was a bit annoying, since separating when in such uncertain circumstances seemed like the absolute worst idea, but Hiroto was headstrong on even the best of days, and if he wanted to run ahead, nothing much was going to stop him. Nao shook his head, but didn't bother hurrying his pace.

"Just remember," Tora said, his tone mischievous, "If he tires himself out running around, he won't wake us up in the middle of the night."

"At least he's not as bad as he was a couple years ago," Nao chuckled, recalling a few of times he'd been woken abruptly in the early hours of the morning because of something Hiroto had decided couldn't wait until later.

"They grow up so fast..." Tora trailed off wistfully, before bursting into laughter.

"You'd honestly think he was still a kid if he didn't talk about women and booze all the time, right?" Nao laughed along with him.

"You have to wonder where he got that attitude from," Tora laughed, shaking his mane with mirth (Nao realized belatedly he could now see Tora's outline in the dim light reflecting off the walls ahead).

" _You_ obviously," Nao snorted, unable to believe Tora was even the least bit unsure about it.

"Me?" Tora laughed in disbelief, "C'mon, that's ridiculous!"

"No, he definitely gets it from you," Nao insisted with amusement. "It was you that started bringing him drinking, and obviously your way of talking about women when they were out of earshot rubbed off on him."

"Is that disapproval I hear?" Tora asked, teasing.

"Not r—"

"Well holy fucking shit!" Shou exclaimed up ahead, cutting Nao's intended reply off.

"What?" He called out urgently, worried something was wrong; he and Tora picked up the pace and hurried forward.

"Have we walked long enough for it to be night already?" Shou asked with hesitance.

"Don't tell me..." Nao trailed off distastefully, already knowing what had happened.

"It looks like a forest," Saga commented, his tone similar to Nao's.

"It's even colder over here than it was over there," Tora grunted in exasperation, stamping his hooves, "Any minute now, I'll be shivering."

Nao took a deep breath and closed his eyes, to try and quell his frustration. "Okay," He said, his tone even. "Everyone stay calm—clearly we've switched places again, and it seems to me, much faster than before. On the bright side, we're back in a forest, it's night, and the sun won't be beating down on our backs."

"I'm _cold_!" Tora reminded him grumpily.

"Yes, well—"

"Frankly, I'm not so comfortable myself," Saga piped up before Nao could finish speaking and before he could reply to that, Shou was adding his two cents in as well.

"Holy shit, be quiet for five seconds!" Nao barked after he couldn't take it anymore. "Let me finish!"

"What's got _him_ so wound up?" Shou asked in a wry undertone.

"Sexual frustration, remember?" Saga replied, just as quiet. Nao resisted the urge to remind them he could hear them just fine; once again, he closed his eyes for a moment and took a calming breath. Getting angry at them for a remark that hit below the belt (quite literally) wouldn't do any of them any good.

"Let's just figure out where the hell Hiroto went, and then find a place to sleep," Nao told them in an even tone. "I'm exhausted, and I can't imagine any of you are feeling much better."

They all murmured in agreement.

"Good," Nao said tiredly. "Good."

\- - - - - - - - - - -

It seemed the only things that had really reached Nao's ears for the past half hour had been muted or outright complaints about the weather. He was very clearly the only one enjoying the cool evening.

"We need to figure out a way to build a fire or something," Tora said, teeth chattering, "I'm f—f—freezing!"

"I think that would be difficult without opposable thumbs," Nao said dryly. "We'll just have to find a place sheltered from the wind and make do with that."

"Well we'd better hurry the f—fuck up," Tora bit out irritably. Nao wondered if that was how annoying _he'd_ acted the entire time they'd been in hot climates.

Of course hurrying to find a place to sleep was second on Nao's to-do list: there was still the teeny-tiny problem of finding Hiroto. They'd hadn't seen head or tail of him since he'd shot out of the tunnel earlier with the intention of exploring the new location they'd ended up in. Nao had no desire to stop looking, but he was tired—they all were—and they'd be no good at finding their missing squirrel of a guitarist if they all dropped to the forest floor out of exhaustion. He was loath to give up the search, but...

"Alright," Nao said with a bit of a sigh, "Keep your eyes peeled for a cave, preferably, but anywhere that will guard our backs is good." Nao shook his head. "I really don't think we're going to find Hiroto-kun tonight, but hopefully he'll find us somehow."

"He's probably off looking for female squirrels or something," Shou chuckled.

"I'll bet," Nao agreed dryly.

Saga beat his wings all of a sudden, shocking Nao and Tora to a stop behind him. It took him a moment to realize he had startled them, and he looked back. "Sorry, I was trying to warm myself."

"Don't worry," Shou told him as they all started walking again, "I'll sleep right up against your breast tonight—under your wing—and that should keep you warm."

Nao looked over at Tora and shared a look of exasperation with him.

"My fur's not very thick so it doesn't keep out the wind," Shou continued in explanation, and Nao was certain he was oblivious to his and Tora's annoyance at his choice of topic, "But if your wing is covering me, it should do the trick."

"I _hope_ so," Saga replied doubtfully.

\- - - - - - - - - - -

It took them quite a while longer to find somewhere suitable to rest: it certainly wasn't a cave, but it was right up against a cliff wall and under some sturdy pines, so as far as locations went, it was quite sheltered from the elements. Despite this, Tora was complaining worse than ever—Saga and Shou were not far behind.

"Okay, I think we should sleep closer to the trunk because we're smaller," Shou said matter-of-factly as he gestured between him and his feathered companion with a paw. "Though, actually if we can find a good tree branch, that might work even better."

"Yeah, sure, whatever..." Nao said faintly before he was besieged by a bear-size yawn; he sat back heavily on his rump.

"Now where are _we_ going to sleep?" Tora asked Nao pointedly after a moment. Shou and Saga were already off to the side, muttering and sizing up the pine branches above to see if there was any spot that would hold both their weight and be sheltered from the cold. Nao heard Tora's question, of course, but he was so tired, he could barely think straight anymore. It felt like he'd been up for days.

" _Where_ are we going to sleep?" Tora finally repeated irately after there was still no response.

"What do you mean, 'we'?" Nao asked, wryly.

"Just stop with the bullshit questions for a minute and think of an answer!" Tora snapped, quite irritated. Nao resisted the urge to raise an eyebrow at the demand.

"If those two are going to sleep up in the tree, then I'm sure we'll have no trouble settling in on opposite sides of the trunk," Nao told him, figuring it was better to simply oblige Tora when he was in such a mood. "You'll have to sleep lying down, though, if you can manage it," Nao added, eyeing the low-hanging pine branches.

"Opposite sides?" Tora snorted humourlessly with a dark look. "Do you _want_ me to freeze to death?"

"Obviously not," Nao said flatly.

Tora's expression turned grudging and he looked nearly uncomfortable. He wouldn't look Nao in the eye. "You have fur."

"Yes, I do," Nao agreed wryly. "What's your point?"

"Do I have to spell it out for you?" Tora brayed angrily, stomping his hooves against the hardened soil.

"He wants to sleep with you!" Shou called down from higher up in the tree; Nao heard both him and Saga stifle their cackles.

"That is _not_ what I want!" Tora shot back, glaring up through the pine needles.

"You know what? I don't even want to argue about it," Nao said, sighing tiredly, "I'll just turn away from the trunk, and you can sleep against my back, and that should keep you warm."

Again, Tora looked grudging and uncomfortable; Nao could see his back was wracked with shivers. "That's not going to cut it."

"Oh for crying out loud..." Nao groaned, slapping his paws against the nearly-frozen soil and getting up. "Fine!"

"Fine, what?" Tora asked, even more uncomfortable than before; he still wouldn't meet Nao's eyes.

"I'll _cover_ you!" Nao bit out in annoyance. "If this will get you all to sleep, I'll fucking spoon you!"

"Oooh, Romantic!" Shou teased them from high above the ground.

"Shut up, Shou-kun, you know _damn_ well that's not what this is!" Nao snapped, back to being as irritable as he'd been when the temperature had been sweltering. It figured that as soon as they returned to a climate that suited him, it wouldn't suit anyone else. So much for enjoying the weather!

"It's too bad Hiroto-kun's missing this—it's going to be golden," Nao heard Saga chuckle to Shou; he resisted the urge to comment.

"Alright, you should lie down under the branches facing the cliff, that way the wind won't be able to get at you the same," Nao told Tora in an attempted neutral tone, trying to make things as matter-of-fact as possible. "I'll, erm... cover your back."

"Good," Tora managed to say, looking no more pleased than Nao was at the idea; bending as low to the ground as possible, he inched his way under the branches of the evergreen and then slowly lowered himself to the ground until he was able to lay on his side. He was shivering much more than before, with the cold ground pressed against him.

Nao, shaking his head at whatever sadistic god had decided he should be subjected to such strange and unusual torture, moved in behind Tora and awkwardly lay down beside him. Then, with a grimace on his face, he slung his forepaw tentatively over Tora's shoulder. His grimace only grew as he threw his back paw over Tora's flank, and pressed his belly against the guitarist-turned-zebra's back. It was all very... awkward.

For a minute or two, there was heavy silence.

"Are you any warmer?" Nao asked, hoping that despite the unpleasantness of the position, it would at least help somewhat.

"Yes," Tora replied, distaste laced through his tone. He paused, as if the next words were stuck in his throat. "Thanks."

"No problem," Nao said faintly, even though it was actually quite a big deal.

There was silence once more, save the snickering from up above. Nao was understandably annoyed at them for being so smug and amused with the whole affair, but despite the embarrassment of having to 'cuddle' with one of his best friends, it was certainly better than allowing him to freeze to death. Nao tried very hard to focus on that positive. Very, very hard.

"Is that what I think it is?" Tora asked quietly in a dangerous tone.

"What?"

"Nao, I _swear_ , if that's—"

"It's been a while, you know that!" Nao snapped, mortified. "It's not exactly something I can control!"

Nao suddenly heard Shou cackling cattishly high above. "He's got a boner, Saga!"

"No way!"

"Would you two just go to sleep already?" Nao roared, trying to cover up his embarrassment.

They didn't bother answering, just kept cackling away. Nao groaned in frustration.

"Don't make noises like that when you've got your junk pressing into my back!" Tora snapped.

Nao scooted the lower half of his torso away from Tora's back so that his unfortunate problem was no longer so pressing an issue. "Better?"

Tora said nothing, but nodded his head sharply. Nao huffed in exasperation and lay his head to the ground, not caring that it was quite uncomfortable. He just wanted _rest_.

Shou and Saga's voices quieted down and soon it was distant purring that Nao heard. That, and the soft sound of the wind blowing through the leaves and needles soothed his frayed nerves.

"Nao?" He heard Tora murmur, once again sounding grudging.

"What?" Nao asked tiredly; he had no energy to stay irritable.

"I'm cold," He admitted.

"And?" Nao asked with a sigh, "I've already got you covered as much as possible—I'm sorry, but—"

"No, you _don't_ have me completely covered," Tora insisted.

"Yes, I—Oh." Nao grimaced. "I see."

" _Yeah_ ," Tora agreed, sounding as uncomfortable as Nao felt.

"You sure you're okay with—"

"Yes," Tora cut him off insistently, "I don't care—I'm cold and I'm tired and I don't want to die just because I was afraid of a little—"

"Watch who you're calling little," Nao growled in warning.

"Watever, whatever!" Tora brushed him off impatiently, "Just hurry up!"

Nao slid forward again and pressed his entire torso against Tora's back, figuring there wasn't much point in hesitating—he was already past being embarrassed. There was just no helping it anymore.

"For the record, though..." Tora trailed off sleepily after most of his shivering had subsided. "Mine's bigger."

"You asshole," Nao snorted fondly.

\- - - - - - - - - - -

He was high above the ground, flying in a spaceship close to the sun. The sky was a deep blue, awe-inspiring and vast; white birds flew nearby, diving in and out of the clouds as though it were water. Maybe to them, it was. He was warm, the sun against his face and he—

"Well, well, well," Someone said in amusement, "What do we have here?"

"He complained he would _freeze_ to death if they didn't," Someone else remarked, snickering.

"A likely story," The first voice snorted appreciatively.

"So you're back," Nao said flatly, opening his eyes once he realized he was no longer dreaming. Sure enough, Hiroto was sitting not two feet from the end of his snout.

"Yeah, with trophies," Hiroto told him smugly. "I see you have one of your own, you old dog."

"We didn't sleep together," Nao replied, his tone still flat.

"I dunno," Hiroto said in mock-contemplation, "Because it seems to me that spooning or putting your paws all over the other person constitutes as sleeping with them."

"Oh, don't get technical with me all of a sudden," Nao said irritably; he made to get up, and Tora, still sleeping, kicked his hooves lightly and whined in protest.

"What I wouldn't give to film this shit..." Hiroto murmured longingly, looking up at the treetops.

"Where were you?" Nao asked him, trying to divert everyone's attention from the fact that he and Tora were still very much in a delicate position.

"I was making nice with the locals," Hiroto laughed, "What else?"

"Of _course_ you were," Nao replied with a bit of a bored sigh.

"Plural?" Shou asked; Nao almost laughed when Saga rolled his eyes.

"You know me," Hiroto said smugly, "Wouldn't be much of an explorer if I didn't try a bit of everything."

"Threesome?" Shou asked, looking as though he approved (Saga shook his head).

"No," Hiroto chuckled self-importantly, "I bagged three squirrelettes. A black one, a brown one, and a grey one. You wouldn't _believe_ the kind of stamina a squirrel like me has. I did three in a row."

"You're shitting me!" Shou exclaimed, laughing with shock.

"I had a busy, busy evening..." Hiroto chuckled darkly. "Anyway, the black one and the brown one were good, but that grey squirrel was a _fox_ , man! That freaky rodent couldn't get enough of my burning meat pipe—I had to _refuse_ after I was done because she wanted to go again. I mean, seriously, if I could find the human form of this girl, I would marry her."

"Your _what_?" Nao asked in disbelief, not having registered the rest of what Hiroto had said.

"My _dick_ ," Hiroto repeated in exasperation. "You know what a dick is, right?"

Nao told himself it wasn't even worth it to reply, and lay his head back down. Tora felt like a huge stuffed animal beneath his paws, and Nao was quite comfortable (he wouldn't admit it out loud, of course).

"Anyway," Hiroto continued, unfazed, "Grabbed something to remember her by."

"An acorn?" Nao heard Saga ask doubtfully.

"Do you even _understand_ how delicious these things are?" Hiroto asked defensively. "Not as delicious as that squirrelette asking for more, but, y'know, you take what you can get."

Nao snorted, unable to resist looking up at Hiroto's trophy. It was so tiny, it would hardly put a dent in his stomach; he was hungry again. With a groan of frustration, he began looking away, but then something caught his eye: the rising sun glinting off of the tiny little acorn. He was so enchanted with the way its shell sparkled, time seemed to stand still—and then it really did, and all he could see was shimmering light.


	7. Chapter 7

It was very quiet. There was neither sound nor trace of the breeze that had been blowing earlier, and it felt warmer. Nao exhaled slowly, feeling so tired he wondered if he'd really even slept at all; he couldn't bring himself to open his heavy eyelids, especially because wherever he was, it was clearly a bright place.

"Do you think we should wake him up?" Someone whispered somewhere nearby. "He's going to fall forward."

"Do you think his head would bounce, or..."

"I bet it would go right through," Someone murmured in a considering tone.

"I'd love to see _that_ ," A very familiar voice snorted quietly.

"He'd hurt himself," Someone else said disapprovingly. "There's a _reason_ he uses drumsticks instead of his forehead."

Nao felt his heart start to race; drumsticks?

"We're just _joking_ , baby," One of the voices from earlier murmured in amusement, "Don't take it so seriously!"

Shou, definitely Shou. And of course, the other could have been no one other than Saga.

"Alright, look..." Another voice said with slight hesitance. "I'll do it."

Nao wondered if Tora still felt awkward about the night before.

"I don't envy you," None other than Hiroto chuckled lowly.

Nao felt as though he would faint with relief when he heard the sound of who he assumed was Tora moving towards him—the sound of him walking, the fabric of his jeans brushing together. Then, of course, he felt Tora's hand on his shoulder, nudging him carefully (he was known to be a bit of a grouch when woken suddenly).

"Wake up," He said, nudging a little harder.

Nao slowly opened his eyes, blinking rapidly at the sudden light flooding his vision. When things finally came into focus, he saw his four bandmates giving him cautious looks. He did a double take when it really sunk in that they were all human and then he jumped up, almost stumbling back over his drumming stool, looking at himself in the mirrors. He was human. _Human_.

"How long have I been asleep?" Nao asked Tora, his heart still racing, and his mind whirling.

Everyone appeared to look away, avoiding eachother's gazes.

"A..." Tora trailed off uncomfortably, "A while."

"How long is a while?" Nao pressed him impatiently.

"Well, according to the clock, I'd say around fifteen minutes, give or take," Tora answered hesitantly, the rest of them absolutely intent on studying their instruments so that they didn't have to be part of the conversation.

"Fifteen..." Nao trailed off in horror; he looked up at the clock and, sure enough, it seemed only minutes had passed. Then, he let out a breath as a thought came to him. "What day is it?"

"The 13th of July, 2010," Tora told him, sounding a bit shaky; he took out his cellphone and held the screen up to Nao's eyes to show him.

"So it's been only fifteen minutes since the earthquake?" Nao asked, starting to feel hot and cold all over.

"According to the news, there wasn't one," Shou spoke up, looking as though he'd swallowed something sour.

Nao closed his eyes and took a calming breath, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Okay, so, wait—only fifteen minutes have gone by, there was no earthquake—"

"According to the news, yes," Shou confirmed with quiet weight.

"What the fuck is going on?" Nao asked, wishing someone would give him an answer that would actually make sense to him—he was certainly coming up blank. No one seemed to want to look him in the eyes.

"We were practicing too hard, and you fell asleep," Saga replied, sounding somehow on-edge. "That's all."

The others murmured in agreement, all the while giving eachother suspicious glances.

"No," Nao insisted angrily, " _No_ , there's no way because I just had the most fucked up dream and there is no fucking way I could have if I'd only been asleep for fifteen minutes. I had no _time_ to get to REM sleep."

"Always has to get so damn technical..." He heard Hiroto grumble.

"When my sanity is being questioned?" Nao snapped, "Yes!"

"Maybe you're wrong," Tora offered half-heartedly, "Maybe you can fall into that whatever-sleep quickly."

"No, no I can't," Nao said darkly. "It's impossible. Then again, turning into an animal out of the blue seems pretty fucking impossible too."

Everyone _really_ avoided his gaze now.

"And you turning into a squirrel?" He continued, pointing at Hiroto accusingly, "Just as impossible."

He saw Shou's horrified reflection in the mirror.

"So I'm _not_ crazy!" Nao shouted in triumph. "You really were there, too, weren't you, Shou-kun? Except you were an endangered Iriomote Cat, and Saga—a fucking peacock—had to save you from those militant lesbian feminists!"

Everyone was furiously avoiding his gaze; he laughed sharply, moving away from his drums. "And _Tora_!" He shook his head, chuckling humourlessly, "You haven't already forgotten about Akua and Ebele, have you? Those females that wanted to be part of your harem on the savannah!"

"Nao-kun," Tora said rather shakily, "Maybe you should sit down."

"Admit it!" Nao exclaimed, ignoring Tora, "You know what I'm talking about! We were all ani—"

Suddenly Tora jumped into animation, and he slapped a hand over Nao's mouth. "Would you shut the fuck up!" He hissed in exasperation. "Do you even realize how crazy you sound?"

Nao struggled angrily, trying to reply that he was in no way insane and that what he'd witnessed had felt too real to be a dream—that there'd been no _time_ for it to have been one. Tora held him in just the right way so that breaking his grip would be near impossible unless Nao took the chance of seriously hurting him, and of course that wasn't an option, so Nao settled for mere struggling instead.

"Just _calm_ down," Saga hissed urgently, coming closer, " _Think_ about what would happen if anyone else heard you saying this shit!"

"I was a zebra, right?" Tora asked him in a low serious tone.

Nao nodded, still struggling in anger.

"And you were a bear," He continued gravely.

Nao nodded furiously.

"And you two slept together when we were in that forest," Shou added, coming closer.

Nao glared at him, struggling harder.

Shou tried very hard to cover up an amused grin.

"We talked about this while you were still asleep," Tora explained in a near-whisper, "And we were really hoping that somehow when you woke, you could explain this all away, but..."

Nao tried to shout through Tora's hand pressing against his mouth, but to no avail.

"If you _promise_ to keep your voice down," He said in a low tone, "I'll let you go."

Nao nodded emphatically and tried harder to push Tora away from him; finally, after a moment, the guitarist did as he said he would and loosened his grip.

"How could all five of us share the exact same experience if it weren't real?" Nao asked immediately, giving them all a hard look.

"Well..." Shou trailed off uncomfortably, "I don't know..."

"The odds of all _all_ being insane are very low," Nao continued seriously, "But the odds of us all being insane _and_ having the same symptoms—delusion— _and_ having the exact same delusion are astronomically low."

"So you're saying there's no way we're insane," Saga concluded hesitantly.

"No," Nao replied in exasperation, "I'm saying the odds are astronomically _low_!"

"Okay, okay, fine," Tora said, waving his hand impatiently. "Whatever. What do we do about this?"

" _We_ know we're not crazy," Nao said in determination, "And the fact that we all saw the same thing means that we don't have to deal with this alone. We can talk to eachother. But we shouldn't tell this to anyone else."

"Who would believe us anyway?" Shou asked with a snort.

"Exactly," Nao nodded in agreement. "Actually, without any physical proof of what happened to us, we could easily tell this as a story and no one would know we were being serious."

"Hell, we might even believe it's all an elaborate story, ourselves, one day," Tora added, seeming rather hopeful.

"I think it would be easier to start telling ourselves that right now," Shou said wryly.

Hiroto cleared his throat, and it was only then that Nao realized he had barely spoken so far. Nao watched curiously as Hiroto reached into his back pocket and pulled something out; wordlessly, he walked over.

"What's—"

Nao felt his stomach drop out of his chest, and once more, he felt hot and then cold all over. There, in the palm of Hiroto's hand...

"Where the _fuck_ did you get that acorn?" Tora asked in a low, dangerous tone.

"Where do you think?" Hiroto replied distastefully.

"We never speak of this," Nao said immediately, "To anyone." He gave each of them a severe look. " _Ever_."

"Agreed," Tora said faintly.

They all stood in a silent circle for a few minutes, all of them staring at the proof of their impossible flight of fancy. Nao couldn't decide whether he was relieved that there was proof they weren't crazy, or whether he would have preferred the ability to write it off as a seemingly miraculous coincidental delusion he had shared with his four bandmates. Neither option was truly attractive. He now had to live the rest of his life wondering just how they'd all been thrown into the alternate universe (or whatever it was), why, and how in the world they'd managed to make it back to their blessed, blessed human bodies. No matter how much he tried to recall the events they'd just experienced, no matter how many times he went over them, he feared he'd never find an acceptable answer. He turned away, telling himself he should just forget anything had ever happened. Forgetting was the only real option he had.

"Should we practice the song one more time before calling it a day?" Shou asked in a subdued voice.

Nao nodded tiredly.

\- - - - - - - - - - -

He opened one of his topmost dresser drawers and placed two items in the very back, under some shirts. He closed it then, and yawned.

"So how did it go?" A female voice asked curiously.

He chuckled. "It was amazing." He shook his head, approaching the bed. " _Amazing_."

"You need to give me more details than that!" She laughed, falling back against her pillow.

"It took almost two hours, total," He explained, hopping onto the mattress. "I started right after lunch, so we did actually get in some good practice first. I brought that pocket watch you gave me for my birthday, and I have to say, it took a while, but it worked. I convinced them to give it a try."

"They were open to it?" She asked, sounding bemused.

"Surprisingly so," He replied, nodding. "Once they were under, I suggested a situation to one of them and they ran with it. I only had to add my own thoughts here and there, and direct the situation they were creating together."

"That sounds incredible," She murmured, clearly in awe. "I wish I could have seen it..."

"It gets better," He told her with a bit of a chuckle. "I made sure to constantly shift their perceptions so that they stayed kind of confused and didn't think too much about the fact that what was happening couldn't possibly be real—they thought they were in the situation they'd fabricated for days, but really, it was only a good hour an a half. Afterwards, I told them that when they came to, they would think only a few minutes had passed since they'd been thrown into their parallel world—I told them that an earthquake had preceded that, but obviously such a thing wouldn't show up in the news so they'd be confused... I also made them wake up at different times, and in different areas of the room. Obviously, none of what had happened made any sense to them."

"It worked?" She asked, astonished.

"I was sceptical, but..."

"I know I suggested you try that, but I didn't _really_ think it would work!" She said excitedly, "That's amazing!"

"I also told them that the next time they saw an acorn, they would forget everything that had happened within minutes—agreeing to the hypnosis, the situation they fabricated, the fact that _I_ did it... everything."

"Can you be sure they'll really forget?"

"I have a feeling they already have..." He murmured rather smugly.


End file.
